new friends and my new friends in the same place at the same time was a little too awkward.
I couldn’t say any of that, of course, so I took a deep breath and moved slowly in Peter’s direction.
“Hey, Shar.” He glanced up at me through half-lidded eyes. I wondered exactly how much he’d smoked already. “Want a hit?”
“No thanks.”
“Don’t worry, he isn’t driving,” the guy next to him offered. “I was going to give him a ride home before too long. It’s nice to meet you, by the way. Pete talks about you all the time. I’m Dean.”
“Hi. I’m Sharon.” I eyed Dean carefully. He was very tall, and cute, with blond hair and blue eyes that reminded me of the old Ken doll I’ve got somewhere in the attic.
“Are you having a good semester?” he asked politely. He didn’t seem to be stoned himself. I guess he was just keeping my brother company. And calling him “Pete” for some reason.
“It’s all right,” I said. “How about you? Are you in school?”
“Yep. First year of college.”
“SF State?”
He shook his head, then shrugged, as if he was embarrassed. “Stanford?”
“Ohhh.” I nodded. Dean was probably rich, then. The only kids I’ve ever known who went to Stanford were in the handful of rich families who go to our church. “I see.”
“Sharon!” Alex shouted behind me. “We’re starting in two minutes!”
Peter glanced back, looking amused. “Are you playing softball with the lesbians, Shar?”
“Hey, do you need any more players?” Dean called back to Alex. “I pitched Little League!”
Dean was totally the Little League type. I glanced at Peter and rolled my eyes—we always used to make fun of the Little League players in our neighborhood—but he didn’t roll his back at me. Too stoned, probably.
“What’d you say?” Alex called back. Dean jogged over to her.
When he was gone, Peter turned back to me, his eyes looking suddenly clearer than they had a moment before. “Those are the girls who hang out at that bookstore, right? Are you friends with them now?”
“Um… I’ve been volunteering there. For the No on 6 campaign.”
“Since when? I’ve been trying to get you to come work on Harvey’s campaigns for months.”
“Yeah… I don’t know. I decided to finally do it.”
“What, out of nowhere?”
“Um. It was actually because of my pen pal, Tammy. You remember her, right?”
“The artist from fundamentalist land? Sure. What’s she got to do with it?”
“Well, it turns out there are some things I didn’t know about her.” I turned so I could watch his face when I broke the news. “Like…she’s gay.”
Peter’s mouth dropped open, exactly as I knew it would. “You’re shitting me.”
I grinned. “I swear I’m not.”
“She lives in Orange County. The most conservative place on earth.”
“Yeah, and she has to work on the pro-Prop 6 campaign with her church. No one knows about her except one other girl, and me.” I took a breath, realizing that last part wasn’t true anymore.
Hmm.
Peter got it, too. “And now me.”
“Um, I guess.” I shrugged. “She’d be okay with that. She knows about you.”
“She knows about me…how?” He raised his eyebrows.
A heavy weight landed in my stomach. “I, uh…”
Oh, shit.
I knew right away what I’d done, but I have to admit, I didn’t totally understand what it meant. Not at first.
In that moment, standing there with Peter, all I could think was maybe this didn’t have to be a big deal. Maybe he’d let this go.
He’s my brother. All my life, he’s meant more to me than anyone else in the world. I couldn’t lose him.
“You told her?” His mouth gaped open. “You told some girl in Orange County about me?”
“Tammy’s not just some girl. She’s one of my best friends. Anyway, she’s hundreds of miles from here.”