found some articles about you in the San Francisco Chronicle, though. You keep saying the world will get better.
It’s never seemed that way to me.
Is my aunt right about San Francisco? Is it a whole city full of sinners? Are there enough to elect someone like you?
I’m trying to have hope, Harvey, like you said. Even when it’s hard. But in the meantime, I’m hoping I’ll have one of those San Francisco dreams tonight.
Peace, Tammy
Wednesday, August 3, 1977
Dear Tammy,
I’ve been trying to figure out how to answer your question about having a boyfriend. It’s a way more interesting question than any of the ones on the official pen pal list!
Here’s a story that might help answer it. One night a few months back, we were watching TV with my brother and my friend Rhonda, and out of nowhere Kevin—that’s my boyfriend—asked, “Hey, do you all believe in God?”
Now, we’re all Catholic, and we take Religion every year at school, so the rest of us were kind of surprised he asked, but Kevin’s into thinking about that kind of thing.
Rhonda said of course she believed in God, but she hated going to confession because Father Murphy smelled so bad she couldn’t focus on her sins. Peter thought about it for a few minutes and shrugged and said yeah, he believed, but I could tell from the way he said it that he wasn’t completely sure.
Then Kevin half smiled at me, and I half smiled back, and we both nodded. We didn’t need to say anything more. I believe in God, for sure, but his question was too complicated to answer with a straight yes or no.
Kevin must’ve known what I was thinking, because he didn’t ask again. We’ve been together long enough that we don’t have to say everything out loud.
So I asked what he believed, and he started talking about an essay he’d read about Friedrich Nietzsche and Carl Jung. Rhonda and Peter stopped paying attention, but I listened to every word. Kevin never answered the question either, not directly, but I understood what he meant.
Everything’s just simpler when I’m with him. I don’t have to worry about whether I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, or what anyone else thinks. I don’t get frustrated or feel out of place. Being around Kevin is, well…easy.
Also, he’s cute. Plus, your sister’s kind of right—it is nice not having to worry about getting asked to dances.
Huh. That was fun to write. I don’t know about you, Tammy, but this pen pal assignment isn’t turning out the way I expected.
And I guess we’re still doing the official questions, too, so:
How do you plan to maintain your strong Christian morality this summer despite the temptations of modern society?
This is a ridiculous question. Also, there are only a few weeks of summer left. I’ve probably already given in to the temptations of modern society by my teachers’ standards. I don’t think they’d approve of me going to punk shows on the weekends, or making out with Kevin in his car after he gets off work on Tuesday nights.
Since none of that will help you with your report, you can use this instead: I plan to pray every day and go to confession every week to help me focus on my faith and resist temptation and blah, blah, blah—oh, my gosh I’m boring myself. I can’t imagine how much I’m boring you.
Also, oh, my gosh again—I just realized what I wrote up there about God. Wow. It’s a good thing we already said we’d keep these letters between us, but this is a big deal, so could you please promise again you won’t tell anyone what I said, even your parents? Adults never understand this kind of thing.
Yours truly, Sharon
P.S. I just read this letter over again, and…could you please write back soon and promise me you won’t tell anyone? I’m going to mail this now, because I really do trust you, but… I don’t know. I worry about a lot of things lately.