Music From Another World - Robin Talley Page 0,122
share that world with you.
I lifted my gaze to Tammy’s face. She was smiling.
“I, um…” I blushed again and looked up at the hills. Maybe I should just say it. Maybe it could be that simple. “I came out to my mom this morning. Told her I…” I bit my lip again. “I’m bisexual.”
“You did?” Tammy grabbed my elbow and cracked a wide smile. “Sharon, that’s wonderful! Congratulations!”
She’d said my name again. “You really think so?”
“Of course! This is a big deal!”
“What if it turns out to be terrible? The way it did for you, and Peter? Mom acted as if she was going to lock me in my room for the rest of my life.”
“Well, she’s the one who’s wrong. What you did takes so much courage. I never had the nerve to come out, and it’s not as if that made life any easier.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way. “You had the nerve to curse at your aunt, though.”
“I did, didn’t I?” She grinned. She was still squeezing my elbow. “So, bisexual, huh? You know, Becky’s bi, too.”
“Really? I thought most of that group was gay.”
“They are. Becky doesn’t say much about being bi, but I bet she’d talk to you if you wanted. She told me some lesbians don’t trust bisexual women, but she thinks that’s stupid and I do, too. I don’t think any of our friends think that way.”
“I hope they don’t.”
“Anyway…” Tammy’s smile faded a little. “So did you, um…get back together with Kevin?”
“No. I see him at church sometimes, but he mostly ignores me now. I don’t think there’s any risk of us getting back together even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.”
It was the perfect opportunity to ask if she was seeing anyone. If I could find the words.
“I’m so sorry about what happened.” Tammy spoke in a rush before I could try. “I’m shocked you’re willing to see me after everything. I showed up at your house uninvited and caused a ton of problems, and now you had to tell your mom. And your brother… God, I can’t imagine how it’s been for him.”
“None of that’s your fault. Besides, my brother’s doing great. And I wanted to tell her.”
“It is my fault. I should’ve known my aunt would come after me. I’m the one who stole that stupid check register, and—”
“What your aunt did was her choice.” I sighed. “Tammy, please, there’s something I—”
“Back on the bus!” This time it was Alex who was shouting. The rest of the group was charging down the hill from the rest stop. “We’re making good time, and we’re not stopping again even if Anita Bryant and her army of straight angels try to pass us on 101!”
Tammy looked at me with quizzical eyes. I turned away.
She feels guilty. She feels sorry for me.
She has a perfect, happy life in the Mission, and I’m the same boring, sheltered girl I’ve always been down in District Eight. It would be selfish of me to interfere with all the great things that are happening for her by trying to drag her back into my messy world.
Tammy’s moved on. I’ve got to do the same thing.
We climbed onto the bus in silence. As soon as we were crammed into our spots on the floor again, I shoved the letter into the bottom of my backpack, crumpling it up into a ball. Twenty minutes later, when Tammy’s eyes drifted closed, I took my diary back out so I could write this down.
We’re getting close now, though. People are starting to wake up, and Tammy’s stirring, too. I’ll try to write more later.
Yours, Sharon
Friday, September 22, 1978
Dear Diary,
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What a day this was.
It first got intense during the demonstration this afternoon.
“VOTE NO ON PROPOSITION 6!” I shouted, waving the sign over my head at the cars passing by. “SUPPORT HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ALL!”