Music From Another World - Robin Talley Page 0,109
able to string together. “It’s…complicated.”
“It always is.” Midge laughed, then popped the cigarette back into her mouth and inhaled sharply. “Anytime you run out in the street because you see a girl talking to somebody else, there’s gonna be a story behind it.”
“That isn’t what happened at all.”
“Okay. Well, either way, she came after you. That’s what you wanted, right?”
“Not at all.”
Midge laughed again. “Okay.”
I groaned. “I’m fine now. You can go smoke inside.”
She shrugged. “If you want. I wouldn’t recommend hanging out here by yourself looking like you’re about to pass out, though. Some of the guys here can be complete jackasses.”
My chest was getting heavy again. I stopped to catch a breath.
“Hey, take it easy.” Midge dropped her cigarette and ground it out with the heel of her boot, then stood directly across from me, meeting my eyes. “Deep breaths. You’re okay.”
I watched her, my eyes never wavering from her face. A moment later, I could breathe normally again. “Thanks.”
“No worries. I had a friend once who used to freak out the same way you do. Did you drink more than usual?”
I’d only had the one drink, but that was more than usual. I drank it kind of fast, too. “Yeah.”
“That’ll do it. So, are you and the blond having girlfriend troubles, or what?”
“She’s not my girlfriend. I…” I sighed again. Maybe it was time I said it out loud to someone who wasn’t my brother. “I don’t even know if I’m gay.”
Midge nodded, no trace of surprise on her face. “I had a friend like that, too. Turned out she was bi.”
I stared at her. Was she joking? “What?”
“Bisexual.” She didn’t laugh. “You’ve never heard of it?”
I was about to shake my head, but…I had heard of it. It just never occurred to me that it was something I could be.
“It’s for people who are into men and women.” Midge fished in the pocket of her button-down and pulled out another cigarette. “Want one?”
“No thanks.”
“Okay.” She popped the cigarette into her mouth and lit it while I waited to see if she’d say more. “Lots of people are bi. David Bowie even is.”
I blinked, stunned. “Wait, really?”
“Look, it’s none of my business who you’re into. Maybe you’re totally straight. I sure as shit have no clue. All I know is, I saw you with that chick just now, and…” Midge jammed her thumb over her shoulder toward the door. “You were both acting as if you were awfully into each other.”
A million different memories started boiling together in my head, all at the same time.
Going parking with Kevin. Watching Midge dance in that tiny skirt. Tammy, breathing softly in her sleep on my bedroom floor. Holding hands while Harvey Milk’s voice rang in our ears.
The way I always felt when I unfolded a new letter from her. As though there could never be anything better in the world than hearing what she had to say.
“I should get back inside.” Midge exhaled a long stream of smoke. I wondered if this was something she did every now and then. Stand outside clubs, smoking and introducing teenagers to mind-blowing concepts. “A decent band’s actually about to start a set. You coming?”
I shook my head.
It was time I stopped shutting this out. I needed to think. Really think.
“That’s cool. Anyway, don’t bother listening to me, because I don’t know shit. Except for one thing.” Midge dropped her second cigarette to the sidewalk and crushed it with her boot. “There’s no point worrying so hard you can’t breathe. Life’s short, and you’ve got to make sure there’s time to live it.”
Yours, Sharon
Wednesday, June 28, 1978
Dear Sharon,
Are you okay? I think you’re awake—your door’s closed and your light’s on—but I didn’t want to bother you by knocking. Midge said you decided to take the bus home on your own. I’m glad you made it back safe.