it. Someone—Barrett—hit it hard enough to dent it. There’s a fist-sized circle appearing white from all the little cracks, and all around it, thinner cracks ripple out.
He punched the door. Tonight? I try to remember whether the curtains were shut when we arrived here, but I can’t.
Then it doesn’t matter. I see movement on the deck: Barrett. He turns his head, and as I wrap my hand around the door handle, he steps over and pushes it open with his big arm, stepping inside in just jeans.
One of his hands is cradling his phone, and he looks somber. Tired.
“Barrett. I can’t— I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—” Heat stings my cheeks. “I…fell asleep.”
He blinks. “I let you sleep.” He slides his phone into his back pocket and takes a few steps past me. Then he looks over his shoulder. “I can walk you home now.”
“No…” I look into his eyes, expecting them to soften. “I want to…return the favor.” I step closer to him, giving him a little smile and reaching for his arm. “I wanted to so much, I can’t believe I didn’t. You… I was so tired after. I want to do it now, if you want. Then maybe you’ll be sleepy too.”
His face hardens. I feel like a fish on sand. “I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. Let’s go to your room, and then I can walk home.”
He shakes his head, then turns around and starts toward the kitchen. “Don’t worry about it. I have some things I need to do.”
He glances once again toward me as he reaches his door, and my throat tightens. He looks apathetic. Cold.
I don’t notice I’ve stopped moving until he takes a black jacket off the coat rack beside the door and holds it out. “C’mon.”
I move toward him as if underwater. Something changed. What happened? Does he think I’m selfish?
“Barrett…” I reach for his arm, raised as he holds the coat open for me. He flinches back.
Well…shit.
I stand there staring at the jacket. Barrett moves around behind me. “Put your arms in, Gwenna.”
He regrets it.
I slide my arms into his sleeves. The jacket melds around me, cool, thin fabric. Some kind of Thinsulate shell thing.
My body pauses, awaiting his touch, so I am stunned to hear him turn a lock. I whirl around and frown.
“Is that a deadbolt?”
“Yes,” he says. He sounds almost robotic.
I don’t think the Haywoods had a deadbolt. Actually—I know they didn’t. Why’d he change the lock?
He steps onto the porch and holds the door. My eyes find his and plead. His shift away. He lets go of the door, and I push through it.
“Cold out here,” I murmur.
Maybe he mumbles something. I don’t even know. My pulse is pounding; blood is racing through my veins.
He starts down the stairs, a step in front of me. I realize he’s still shirtless. The wind blows at us from the direction of my house, and I can see a shudder race across his shoulders.
Sympathy for him. Or empathy. I don’t know why. My stupid heart won’t close its door.
It’s awkward now; I’ll have to break the ice again. His shoulders hunch against the wind. I tell myself I’ll do that as long as I have to. Break the ice and break the ice, until he’s thawed enough that I can always reach him.
When we’re halfway down the front porch stairs, I touch his elbow. “Hey…”
His body stiffens as his eyes come reluctantly to mine.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“Why would anything be wrong?”
My blood runs cold. Even his voice is different. I feel sweat pop out along my hairline.
I wait a heartbeat for the swell of bravery I always feel around him—that extra little something that makes me feel the way I used to back before the accident, back when I was everything I hoped to be and I had never lost enough to make me second-guess myself. I look into his face and make myself available for when the feeling comes, so I can grab on and I’ll know what to say, or what to do. But nothing happens.
He stares at me like I’m no one to him, and all I hear is what he said at my house.
“We’re friends.”
“Are we?”
I have a split-second memory of my knee rubbing between his legs. His fingers surging inside me. The recollection warms my blood, and brings with that physical sensation a small crest of glee.
I press my lips together and look over at him. His eyes meet mine, but quickly pull away. He keeps
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