Murder_ A Sinful Secrets Romance - Ella James Page 0,217

his gaze touches mine.

“…Gwenna.”

My knees are so shaky, I’m forced to grab his arm. Compassion overtakes the weirdness in his eyes. He leads me not into Bear’s room, but over to a hallway chair.

“Sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit down! Kellan…”

“He’s okay. He’s doing great. Ray the PT was in there and Barrett didn’t like the way Ray moved his left hand.” Kellan’s eyes widen. “He could feel it.”

“His left hand?”

He nods. “Not sure if it’s all the way or what. He’s pretty sleepy, but he said some things to Ray and asked ‘What’s this shit in my nose?’ and tried to pull the NG tube out.” Barrett chuckles. “He did pull it out. It’s gone. He’s drinking juice.”

My pulse surges. “What’s the catch?”

Kellan’s eyes dart down to his feet. I see his jaw flex. “Gwen… He asked where Lyon was. He remembered when I told him. He asked how I got cleared to come to Germany.”

“He thought he was at Landstuhl.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that a problem? Does that mean—”

“After a few minutes, he remembered what happened. With Nic.”

“You’re scaring me! What aren’t you saying, Kellan?”

“He called you Snowflake. He said, ‘that girl. The snowflake girl.’ I started to ask him what that meant and he said the one with red hair. I told him you were okay, and he tried to ask about the accident. We kept telling him you were okay, but he got upset. They weren’t going to give him anything but they ended up giving him a small amount of Xanax. When we asked if he wanted to see you, to see Gwen, he told us no. I’m so sorry, Gwen. It might be different tomorrow. But tonight, they want us all to go. He’s very tired, he’s sleeping. I’ve woken up after a long sleep before, and trust me, he’s not going to be looking for us. I doubt he’s even quite that with it yet. They think that this is big for him. Hell, it’s amazing. They just want us to leave him starting now until sometime in the morning. Let the nurses and the doctors check him over. See if he’ll wake up in another few hours and say more then.”

My throat is so tight, when I try to speak, nothing comes out. “You would leave him?” I manage.

Kellan’s face goes gentle. “He’s my brother, Gwen. I’m not saying we go far. We can stay at that hotel across the street. If he wakes up again and asks for us, we come right over.”

I open my mouth and try go get some air into my lungs. “Did he remember you?”

“He did.”

“Cleo?” I rasp.

“Yes. He remembered Cle.”

My voice wavers. “He didn’t ask for me?”

“That’s why I didn’t want you to go in just yet. He had the Xanax, now he’s sleeping. If you get upset Gwen, Barrett might, too.”

“No he won’t! Not if he doesn’t remember me. He called me Snowflake New Year’s Eve! In 2012.” I grab onto Barrett’s wrist. He wraps his arm behind my back. “If he didn’t call me Gwen or Pig, he doesn’t know me! Kell, I have to know! I have to know if he knows who I am…” Against my will, I start to cry.

He pulls me close. “You want some Xanax too?” He makes a sound like a chuckle, but it’s darker. His face, when I draw away and look into his eyes, is tight and pale.

“I don’t want Xanax. I don’t want your help!” I run blindly down the hall, and I don’t stop until I’m outside in the parking lot.

THIRTY TWO

GWENNA

Kellan is crazy. You couldn’t pry me away from Bear right now to save the planet. Also, it’s not true what Kellan said. What he implied. That we can’t see Barrett right now.

We can if we want. Even I can. All the doctors are saying is they want him to have a solid night’s rest because sleep is important for healing of the brain, and if we want him to stay conscious, he needs to sleep.

Did Kellan think I would run into his room and make him more upset? The thought fills me with fury until sometime in the wee hours when I’m dozing in the waiting room—and I realize that if Kellan hadn’t kept me away, maybe I would have burst into Bear’s room and made a fuss.

So what?

I can still be mad at Kellan.

I can still be mad.

I look out the window in front of me, out at the Smoky Mountains, green hills wreathed