to get their revenge. It was also in the middle of January.”
“I fail to see how this is revenge.”
“Well, I had to go to my parents’ place every day several times a day if I wanted food, but the hot chocolate with whipped cream part of that week? Quite nice, actually. I gained five pounds, but I was a little thin anyway.”
“So, you’re saying, their version of revenge was treating you with something you like but making you go home for a week to be properly fed?”
“When you phrase it like that, it was a very odd choice of revenge. I did like it more than I should have.”
“We’re going to have rules in our house, Wells. One of those rules involves you eating a proper diet. I will feed you by hand if I must.”
“You just signed up to spend a ridiculous time feeding me, Mr. Mane. Will you drag me home if I’m late for dinner?”
“Absolutely.”
“It’s good to be me. Just don’t let me get fat. I need to be in good shape to hunt idiots.”
“I can work with that condition.” Sebastian stretched. “They didn’t joke around on your new car. I had no idea Corvettes were this nice. I didn’t really put them in upper end luxury sports car territory, but this feels like a luxury sports car.”
“It’s fun to drive, but I’m really not used to how responsive it is. I feel like I’m driving a cloud, and it’s disconcerting. Have you ever driven a luxury sports car before?”
“A few times. I don’t own one because I know how much they cost to maintain. I’m guessing your family checked into the maintenance costs and figured you’d be able to afford the bills—or your uncle would be footing the bills while your family pays him for them.”
“And unbeknownst to them, I can afford my own bills.”
“Right. Still, I’m pretty impressed with your family. They have a really streamlined process of feeding the whole family, although I’m a little shocked your mother tried to wipe everybody out with spicy fried chicken. And how enthusiastic you all were about making all that chicken disappear.”
“We love fried chicken. We love spicy food even more than we love fried chicken. We love when our fried chicken is spicy. Unfortunately, we’re weak, weak felines, and we cry when we eat spicy food.” I sighed. “But it was so good. But so hot.”
“My spicy dishes are about twice as hot, Wells.”
“You are cooking for me the instant we get home. And you will provide milk for me. In exchange, I will purr for you.”
“Perhaps I should have just told your brothers to make sure they can cook and clean. That would have a lot of women knocking on their doors. If you want me to cook for you, I’ll cook for you. If you can’t cook, you will learn. Or at least learn enough to not starve if I have to go on a business trip and can’t take you with me. But if you can’t cook, you will learn.”
“I can handle basic survival on my own, but I suspect I do not cook up to your standards.”
“It doesn’t have to be up to my standards, you just have to be competent.”
“I am barely competent. So, Chicago. Where am I taking us tonight?”
“There is a nice hotel about two hours from here, and I’ve already gotten a reservation. I did it while you were unwrapping your car. I’ll admit, I indulged. This is my first vacation in a while, and I tend to be rather frugal. I also get paid bonuses like your uncle does on bounty handling, and I take on some bounties directly, but I tend to work specialty jobs. Although you’ve become a bit of a specialist.”
“At what? Going into coffee shops, waiting for the asshole I want to take out to come in and start something, and beating him into submission? If so, I’m definitely a specialist.”
“I’m really hoping you’re going to use a different tactic on this job.”
“I absolutely am not going to use a different tactic. That’s how he operates. I’m going to use a temporary microchip, trackers in my clothes, my purse, and so on, and have you handle the tracking portion of my adventure while I set myself up to be the latest addition to his little black book of death. I’m also going to put in a request for any tricks the CDC has on resisting mind-altering substances and temporary immunities to pixie dust.