have to dodge having a love life because I’m hopeless, right? You all are idiots.” I peeled the remaining chains off my car, careful not to bang the links into it. Sebastian helped, and it was his idea for all of us to lift the entire canvas tarp up, move it, and dump the chains on the ground.
It worked, and Sebastian folded the tarp while I attacked the paper.
I tore off the wrapping to uncover a cherry red convertible, and I frowned, trying to figure out how I’d wiggled under it, as it rode low to the ground. Puzzled, I inspected the tires, then the ground, and got on my hands and knees, patting at the undercarriage, which somehow seemed high enough for me to fit underneath it. “What sorcery is this?”
My brothers snickered, and either Alex or Andrew crouched beside me, pointing at the mags. “We put your car up on blocks, but we recruited the troublemakers of the fifth litter to layer on some illusions so it looked proper. We stayed away so we wouldn’t accidentally reveal the nature of the illusion.”
“Okay. That’s cool.” I did a walk around, purring at the Corvette’s iconic body, although from the shape, they’d gotten a fairly new Corvette—or a brand new one. I couldn’t tell.
Corvettes were well outside of my area of expertise, although I knew enough about them to recognize one when I saw it.
As I would find some way to trash my new car without being able to see through the illusion, I handed my keys to Alan. “I demand this be brought down to its proper level by someone who can actually see what they’re driving. Fix this! I must cuddle with it, and I must cuddle with it now.”
Alan lifted his hand to his mouth and let out a piercing whistle. “Elijah! Come move your sister’s car. Also, we may as well open a path for her. She’s going to want to take that lion off with her sometime tonight.”
“Yes, I plan on taking my lion off somewhere tonight. But I have to mark my territory first.” I rubbed my hands together and admired the Corvette. “Who’d you mug to get this? It’s pretty. This is really pretty. This is the prettiest car to have ever prettied. Is it really mine?”
“It’s really yours. We didn’t mug anyone. We had Uncle Henry buy it, and we set up a loan with him to pay him back. He’ll sign off the title and everything, but right now, you’re on his insurance for it. You are not permitted to reject this car, nor are you allowed to indulge in guilt. Yes, we bought it new. We hope you like red, because this was one of two Corvettes anywhere near us, so we picked this one because we thought you’d like it better than the black one, which wasn’t as nice as this one.”
While black was fine, red was fun, and I needed fun. “Sebastian, get naked and pose against my car. That’s the only way this is getting better.”
“No.”
I pouted at him. “Please?”
“If I get naked, your brothers will be struck down with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. As I happen to like your family, I don’t want to hurt so many of them at one time.”
Unable to help myself, I laughed. “But I like you naked.”
“You can help me out of my suit when we get to our hotel for the night.”
“Get the stuff, load the car, we’re leaving,” I announced.
“Your mother is making fried chicken, and I believe she expects us to eat before we leave.”
Only a fool angered my pregnant mother or refused to eat her chicken, no matter how creative she got with the spices. “Okay. We eat, and then we flee. I need naked lion time.” I ran for the house to take a shower, as the only way I’d be able to get naked lion time was if I hurried up and shoveled as much of my mother’s chicken as I could stomach into me before I left. With luck, someone had taken her saffron, but I’d cope if I needed to eat creatively spiced chicken. Somehow.
Dressed in one of my old, worn pairs of sweats, I helped my mother finish dinner while Sebastian entertained the rest of my family. Instead of saffron, my mother had gone for the throat, using cinnamon, chili, and curry to create a tongue-incinerating dish I’d need several weeks to recover from. Fortunately, she understood she made a hellish