wolf, too. I’ve eaten a lot of my momma’s ice cream. And not a word that I call her my momma. But when it comes to the ice cream, she’s my momma.”
Hmm. Next time I visited my parents, I’d have to tip my father I needed another pint of my momma’s ice cream so he’d buy extra. I wouldn’t be grieving, however. I would be celebrating having gotten multiple roars out of the lion.
“Roars are the sound of frustration, dominance, or pure pleasure,” the lion replied. “Pure pleasure is a form of satisfaction, just so you are aware. Also, since we’re being open and honest about the relationships with our parents, I, too, have called my mother such things in my adult life. It makes her happy when I call her my mommy. She’s Mom most of the time, but she’s my mommy when she’s had a hard day and needs love.”
Huh. We’d have to compare notes to see which one of us had the best family. I looked forward to pursuing that discussion later. “I am pleased you are wise enough to make your momma happy with you by calling her your mommy at the appropriate intervals. With that settled, roars are the sound of my satisfaction, not yours. Any satisfaction you get from me making you roar out of frustration is purely coincidental. Most people call that masochism. If that’s what you’re into, I mean, that’s great. It would explain why you insisted I antagonize you in person.”
With a little chuckle, he relaxed in his seat. “Yet you’re the one who wants to get me out of my shirt.”
“Hello? You’re a male lion. I’m a virgin, not blind or dead. I’m also a single lycanthrope. Male lions have a reputation of being pretty and being useful. I’m curious, just like a self-respecting feline should be. How do I know if you’re representative of male lions if you don’t take your shirt off? And anyway, if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine, but while my bra is nice, what’s underneath could use some work.”
“I’m a male lion, Wells. I don’t give a shit if you have scars. Males of any species appreciate female feline flesh put on display. As I’m a male lion, I appreciate when I’m aware the female feline flesh belongs to someone who is capable of taking care of herself. Self-reliance is attractive. The only reason I don’t like your scars is because you don’t like them.”
I needed more time than I had to think about his statement, what it changed for me, and how his view of me would change when I finally got my scars removed. “Well, I mean, who would enjoy having the kittens scream and cry upon sight of me? That sucks, by the way. Every new litter, I have to acclimate the new kittens to my face. They tend to cry and scream until they’re old enough to understand this is just my face.” I pointed at my cheek, which had undergone the worst of the damage. “I’m not really sure what happened to the bone. Probably debris fell on me. I was not conscious for that portion of the fire, which is probably a good thing.”
“I can understand how that would be traumatic for someone. Lions are very fond of having little kittens around. If lionesses were more interested in having many litters around rather than only one or two kids at a time, felines would rule over all lycanthropes. But young lions require a lot of attention, and lionesses get cranky when having to deal with two lions. One is bad enough. Two lions test the patience of any lioness. Lions roar. Often. Having to deal with three lions at one time? Superwoman territory there.”
My virus approved. “How often do lions roar, precisely? This directly influences the bad choices I’ll make in the next few minutes.”
He chuckled. “I have noticed you seem to develop a severe purring problem when I start roaring at you.”
How tragic for my pride. He’d noticed my purring problem. “I can’t help but notice that did not stop you from roaring.”
“I’m a male feline, and I’ve seen my mother cranky enough to understand denying female felines of their joys in life might lead to someone being mauled. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid. And you kept coming back for more, so it seemed wise of me to provide. Of course, I would put up a token resistance to make you