to the navigation system’s directions, muttering curses at the ridiculous amount of traffic for so small an area.
I expected the gridlock in somewhere like Chicago, not in Fargo.
“I have underestimated the amount of suffering you have endured. A single female lycanthrope would find a lone egotistical male cat to be vexing. How many of your brothers are mated?”
“Not enough of them,” I muttered. “It’s my fault. They don’t want to settle down while they have a sister to protect. I might get into trouble.”
“Might?”
“They really aren’t very good at keeping me out of trouble. It’s true. I almost feel sorry for them, really. They make me check in. They’re convinced my face will drive me to doing unacceptable things.”
“You mean like working as a bounty hunter to pay for your operation?”
“Exactly. Unacceptable things like that. It’s ridiculous. Why can’t I be a bounty hunter if I want?”
“It’s dangerous.”
“And? It’s good work. I’m usually paid well for it.”
“You earned your way up like everyone else, which is why you’re paid decently for it.”
“I work in customer service as my day job, Sebastian,” I reminded him. “It pays well compared to that.”
The lion frowned, staring out the window. “You take unnecessary risks because you’re not paid well enough at your day job?”
“I take necessary risks because I have a mangled face and wish to replace it with my proper face, and I wish to earn my proper face, thank you. And if you feed me any bullshit about how I should embrace my mangled face, I’ll dump your ass into the nearest lake and ruin your hair. Or maybe I’ll tie you up in my living room for a few weeks so I can properly call you Mr. Mane, Mr. Mane.”
“You would.”
“I’m so glad I don’t have to do a demonstration.” I considered having him tied up in my living room for a few weeks, coming to the sad conclusion his growling and roaring would get me fired within a few days. “Are lions expensive to feed? This is an important research question now.”
“I’m very expensive to feed.”
Damn it. “How expensive?”
“I eat enough for six humans on a day I’m taking it easy. My regular dinner is usually three steaks. Take what you can eat, multiply by three, and then make it all steak, all the time.”
I licked my lips. While his diet could use variety, I had to admit I liked his general plan to exclusively eat steak. “I like steak.”
“I bet you do, especially after being forced to consume contaminated fried chicken. If you get through this Battle Lake job with minimal injury to yourself, I will provide steak for dinner tonight.”
Okay. Sebastian spoke my language. Not only did he speak my language, he did so in such a way my virus swooned and waited for him to take over the show.
She wanted to surrender immediately so she could be pampered, fed steak, and seduced.
“I think I need my virus levels checked,” I muttered.
“Why would you say that?”
“My reasons involve my virus’s unreasonable reaction to the prospect of being fed steak.”
“It’s steak, Wells. Steak is the true proof there are divines out there who genuinely wish for us to be happy.”
No, his roar was the only proof I needed some divine out there genuinely wished for me to be happy. “What kind of steak do I get?”
“The steak you are fed is directly related to how badly you get yourself injured this time. Should you emerge with no bruises or scratches, you will be taken to a nice steakhouse, where I will foot the bill for however much you eat. Should you be scratched, you do not get to go to a nice steakhouse. You will be taken to a buffet that happens to serve steak.”
“The difference between these two restaurants is alarming considering the differential in injury,” I observed, narrowing my eyes. My virus would swoon again if he took me to a buffet, where I could eat to my heart’s content. “Perfection or buffet? That’s harsh. Dare I ask what will happen to me if I suffer through more than a few bruises or scratches?”
“I will still take you to a buffet, but they will not serve good steak. They will serve scraps of meat that might have been a steak, but they will serve barbecue chicken worth crying over.”
Crap. Barbecue chicken might break me. “What else does that horrible buffet have?”
“A taco bar.”
My virus demanded I go out of my way to take a beating to earn