of five kittens, and they’re all adorable trouble. My ruthless asshole family used the kittens to make sure I accepted their gifts, as I am known to be stubborn. I can’t make the kittens cry, and they are growing to be proper lynxes, willing to use their cuteness and ferocity to get what they desire. They’ve finally gotten over my face, so I really don’t want to make the kittens cry.”
“I am well aware of your stubborn tendencies, and I do not require additional education regarding those tendencies.”
My virus really loved taunting the snooty lion too much for my comfort. The grumpier he got, the happier she became.
I needed to ditch the lion before I started siding with my virus even more than I already did. “It only gets worse from here. You’ll have to put up with me frequently. Should I send flowers as consolation gifts or are you the chocolate type?”
“One day, you are going to get what you deserve, and I will be there to enjoy every moment of it.”
As far as threats went, I liked his. It meant he’d be around a lot. The lion often annoyed me, but when he did, and I held my own against him, my virus settled for days at a time, pleased over having nettled him. As for what I deserved, I could think of a few things, including a scar-free face, landing a dedicated feline male for life, one I could bite to my heart’s content, and possibly enough chocolate to sink a battleship, served with enough coffee to float it. My virus interpreted the lion’s comment as an expression of his eligibility; the king of the jungle would make a suitable mate for us, and he roared so nicely.
Yep. My virus was about twenty-four hours from spiking in order to get what she wanted, which would make my life interesting when I went hunting in Cincinnati. In good news, my picky as hell virus wouldn’t accept any random male, which helped a lot.
Not just any potential tumble into bed met my virus’s criteria.
“I already accepted bounties in Cincinnati. That’s my retreat, and it’s pocket change I need,” I announced, determined to rein my virus in and redirect Sebastian back to work. “And there’s that asshole lycanthrope on the way to Cincinnati I need to take care of.”
“You’re going to insist on being stubborn, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely. But since you’re offering scar removal, I am willing to share my bounties with you.” My virus approved of my idea of dragging the lion with me. “But you’re going to have to pretend you’re an attracted male because I’m going to be romping around without any perfume. If you’re sniffing at my turf like every other single male lycanthrope in a mile radius, then nobody will look twice at you.”
“You use perfume?”
“It’s useful sometimes.” The CDC’s invention, meant to help single lycanthrope females stay single, cost a fortune, and they issued me a limited supply for bounties when they had a job they wanted me to do. “I need to get more, actually. My supply is low, and that shit’s expensive. Usually, I go without because it does a good job of luring out the unsavory lycanthropes.”
“That’s dangerous,” he growled.
“Sure, if you have an idiot virus. I have a very picky virus, Sumners. Her response to unwanted males is to inflict as much damage to them as possible. I like it.” I smiled. “I like it a lot. It’s very useful when one is a bounty hunter with a picky virus.”
“The virus…” Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Just how picky is your virus?”
“I’m single because she’s that picky.” Only a male cat would do, and only the best male cat would do. According to my virus, Sebastian was that male cat. “I’m sure the male my virus selects will make most excellent prey, and by the time I get to sinking my claws into his ass, he’ll be a most willing participant.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being figurative,” he complained.
I debated. Would Sebastian roar if I sank my claws into his ass? Probably. “Definitely meant to be literal.”
“You need lessons regarding men, Wells. That is not how you catch a man. That’s how you drive men off.”
Yes, it was. “Then it’s a good thing my virus is picky. I’m sure the right eligible male to cross my path will find some way to secure my attention without me having to sink my claws into his ass.”