A Mrs. Miracle Christmas - Debbie Macomber Page 0,11

would never intentionally hurt you, not after everything we’ve been through. All I’m asking is that you leave the door open just a crack.”

Laurel stepped away from her husband and raised both hands, warning him off. “I can’t…not after three expensive and grueling IVF treatments. Not after Jonathan. Do you seriously want us to go through that kind of heartache again? Is that what you want?”

With everything in her, she couldn’t buy into it. Not again. Not when she’d been emotionally and physically depleted in their quest for a family. Only those who had suffered through infertility understood the desperation they faced as they waited for a baby, then the pain that came when they were denied at every turn.

Laurel’s heart ached to watch her nana knit booties for a child she’d never hold or have the opportunity to love. Of course, once they were finished, if they ever were, she could always add them to the pile of newborn clothing to donate.

* * *

—

The following afternoon, Zach sat in his office cubicle, his hand on his phone and his mind working at warp speed. Laurel didn’t know what he’d done. She didn’t have a clue that a month after Jonathan had been claimed by his birth father, Zach had reached out to the adoption agency and asked that their names be reinstated. Guilt ate at him. He didn’t want to think what Laurel would do if she ever found out. He hated keeping secrets from her, but it was better that she not know what he’d done. Nevertheless, it felt deceitful and dishonest on his part. Not telling her ate at him. His real fear was this: If he didn’t tell Laurel, eventually the underhandedness of what he’d done would crumble the very foundation of their marriage.

Sucking in a breath, Zach punched in the number that would connect him to the adoption agency.

“Loving Families Adoption Services,” the receptionist answered. “How may I direct your call?”

“May I speak with Mary Swindoll? This is Zach McCullough.” Mary was the caseworker who had been assigned to them when they’d first applied for adoption.

No more than a moment later, Mary was on the line. “Zach. How good to hear your voice.”

“Yours, too, Mary.” The hollow chattiness was all Zach needed to hear to know there were no changes in their status, but he asked anyway. “I’m calling hoping for an update.”

“I’m sorry, Zach. I know it’s been a long time. Several babies have come up for adoption, and one specifically that we considered for you and Laurel, but something told me that the mother might have a change of heart. My instincts were right—she did pull out of the adoption right after the baby was born.”

Zach was relieved that Mary was insightful, so they wouldn’t have had their hopes set on that baby. Another incident like Jonathan would have destroyed his wife. Laurel might not have survived it. The truth was, Zach wasn’t sure he could have, either. The first failed adoption had been hard enough.

“I appreciate your wisdom.”

“I’ll be in touch after the first of the year,” Mary promised.

“Sure. Thanks for taking my call,” Zach said, his words lacking emotion. As soon as he ended the call, a heavy sense of defeat fell upon his shoulders.

* * *

—

Laurel’s day had been going along well. Although her students were already keyed up about Christmas and a visit from Santa, she had no trouble controlling her classroom. That didn’t mean she wasn’t ready for her break for lunch. Her stomach was growling.

The lounge was buzzing when Laurel entered. Spirits were high. One would think this was the last day of school before the winter break. Opening the refrigerator, she pulled out her roast beef sandwich and a bag of grapes. The roast from last night’s dinner had been the best she’d ever tasted, and both she and Zach had used it to make sandwiches to bring to work.

Chase Walter pulled out a chair and sat down next to Laurel. “Did you hear the news?”

Almost immediately the room went eerily quiet.

“Chase,” said Mona, who taught the other first-grade class. She glared at the fifth-grade teacher.

“What?” Chase demanded, glancing around the room, not understanding what he’d done that was so terrible.

“No, I hadn’t. What news?” After her argument with Zach from the night before, Laurel was ready to hear something fun. Whatever the news was, it had the teachers’ lounge humming with excitement.

“It’s about me,” replied Britta Jackson, who was another teacher.

Laurel