Most Likely (Most Likely #1) - Sarah Watson Page 0,80
“Can I come in?”
Ava said yes.
Her mom sat down at the edge of the bed. “Dr. Clifford can see us later today.”
Ava turned toward her mom. “Don’t you need to go to work?”
Her mom smoothed the hair out of Ava’s face and tucked it behind her ear. “I called in sick too.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Oh, Ava. We’re in this together, okay?”
Ava nodded again. It was the only thing she had the energy to do.
“I know it’s not as good as having your friends here, but if you want, I could lie down with you for a little while. Unless you want me to leave you alone?”
Ava shook her head. “No. Stay.”
Ava’s mom crawled into her bed and nestled next to her. She didn’t say anything, but Ava felt safer having her there.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. About Isabel. About the letters.”
“You couldn’t. I get it. Thank you for writing them. And, Mom?”
“Yeah, hon?” she said, rubbing Ava’s back.
“Thank you for fighting for me to stay in my advanced classes.”
Her mom’s expression changed. “You deserved to be there. Depression is not your fault, and there was no fucking way I was going to let them punish you for it.”
Ava had never heard her mom swear before. She liked it. Next to her, her mom stared at the ceiling. “I’m sorry for not understanding right away.”
“What do you mean?”
“When all of this first started. I thought you were just moody. It seemed like normal teenager stuff. Then it got bigger and I still thought we could handle it ourselves. I read this article online about cutting out gluten. That was a fail. Then there was this research that said endorphins helped. I thought if I could just get you out the door and exercising.”
Ava turned to face her mom. “That’s why you were always trying to get me to jog with you?”
“I know. It was ridiculous.”
“No. It’s… You were trying. You didn’t know. You were doing your best.”
“I think I just made you feel worse. It helped me, though. I was feeling so scared and overwhelmed back then. Jogging really did make me feel better.”
“I’m glad.”
“We’re going to get you back in a better place too. We’re going to figure this out.” Her mom cozied into her and held her tightly. “I’ll be right here. As long as it takes. I’ll be right here.”
Ava closed her eyes, and for the first time in a long time, she felt that everything was going to be okay.
Jordan hadn’t spoken with Scott or even exchanged a single text with him since that night in front of Martha’s. That’s why she was so surprised to find a voice mail from him when she turned on her phone after their flight from San Francisco landed back in Cleveland.
Uh, hey. It’s Scott. Mercer. Anyway, can you call me back?
He’d sounded nervous. Which made her nervous. It was too late to call him then, and she’d planned on phoning him first thing in the morning. That was before her little brother came to her in a state of complete panic because he’d just remembered that he was supposed to be giving an oral presentation on the Great Depression. The only thing he currently knew about it was that it had happened in the United States and that it was depressing. Jordan gave him a crash course and helped him put together note cards so he could remember everything.
Then she was going to call Scott on the way to school. Her phone rang just as she was about to dial. It was CJ. “Did we know that Martha’s mom totally screwed her on financial aid?” CJ was somewhere that echoed.
“No. What happened?”
“I don’t have the whole story. Diffenderfer told me about it. I met up with him in the cafeteria this morning so I could get Friday’s history notes.”
“I’m almost to school. Let’s grab Ava and we can all corner Martha. With love, I mean.”
“Didn’t you see Ava’s text?”
“No. What’s it say?”
CJ read it. “‘In a Griselda mood and staying home today. Mom’s here with me and she’s being awesome so don’t worry. I’ll be okay. *Double hand squeeze.*’ The double hand squeeze is in asterisks. Like it’s an action.”
“Yeah. I get it,” said Jordan. “What’s a Griselda mood?”
“Just get here. I’ll find Martha.”
Martha told them about the terrible conversation with her mom. She seemed okay, though. Weirdly okay. They asked her what she was going to do,