Most Likely (Most Likely #1) - Sarah Watson Page 0,69
said to her at the mini-golf course. Dreams change.
His demeanor shifted. “Anyway, my mom just got home. I’ve gotta jet. Bye, Clarke.”
“Bye,” she said.
It was while eating a rotisserie chicken from Whole Foods on Thanksgiving Day that Ava decided she wanted to fly to California to see her birth mother. Ava and her mom were sitting across from each other in the dining room. Even though it was just the two of them, her mom always put together a centerpiece and Ava made place cards. It was tradition.
Ava moved her food around on her plate. She hadn’t had much of an appetite the last few days.
“How’s your RISD portfolio coming?” her mom asked.
Ava stopped pushing her food. They hadn’t talked about RISD since that awful day in the college counselor’s office. “It’s… it’s okay.”
“I’m trying to keep an open mind,” her mom said.
“Thanks.” Ava dragged her fork through the stuffing and wondered why Whole Foods put raisins in it. It seemed criminal.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Ava looked up. Her mom was trying. It wasn’t her fault that no amount of trying could ever make up for the fact that there were certain things that she would never understand. Her mom would never know the ache of desire to put paint onto a blank canvas. She would never know what it was like to be the only brown face in a sea of white ones. She would never know what it felt like to be leveled by depression. “Actually,” Ava said, “I’m trying to keep an open mind too. I’m thinking of maybe applying to Stanford.”
Her mom looked up. “Really? That’s fantastic.”
The exuberance in her mom’s voice almost broke Ava’s heart. “There’s a prospective-students’ weekend. To see the campus. Do you think maybe I could go?”
“Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Of course.” She was beaming. “We can book our flights tonight if you want.”
“Oh,” Ava said. “You don’t have to… I know how busy you are with work and…”
“Ava. I’m not too busy for this.” Ava looked down at the table. She hadn’t even touched her chicken. “And the idea of you flying all that way on your own. I’ll be honest, it worries me a little.”
Ava looked back up. She could fly on her own. She could do all sorts of things that her mom didn’t think she was capable of doing. “Mom. I’ll be fine.”
“It’s the other side of the country.”
“Please, Mom,” Ava said. “I…” Her voice cracked slightly. “I need to do this.”
Her mom still looked nervous.
“What if I’m not the only one going? If a friend goes with me… then can I go?”
Her mom considered. “I suppose that would be okay.”
Ava almost called Logan Diffenderfer that night. Almost. She called CJ instead.
“So…” CJ said, after Ava laid out the plan. “You want me to go visit Stanford for the weekend with you so we can stalk your birth mom.”
Ava was curled onto her bed, the postcard from her birth mom in her hand. “You’ve never actually seen the campus. So I’m thinking you could convince your parents.”
There was an inordinately long pause.
“CJ?”
“Processing.” Another pause. “Okay, I’ve processed. No, I haven’t. Still processing. But, yes. I would walk through fire for you. So I will figure out a way to get the money.”
Ava set the postcard down and sat up. She hadn’t even thought about how much money this would cost and how hard that would be for CJ. “Shit. CJ, I didn’t even think. Just forget the whole thing. It’s a terrible idea.”
“Wait,” CJ said. “I just remembered something.” She laughed slightly. “The SAT course I took this summer has a money-back guarantee. Either your scores improve, or you get a full refund.”
“Don’t waste the money on me,” Ava said. “Spend it on yourself. Spend it on something important.”
“This is something important,” CJ said.
“I hate to be the one to point out the obvious,” Martha said that following Monday. “But I’m going to point out the obvious.” She stared incredulously at Ava from across the cafeteria table. “You can’t go to Stanford that weekend.”
Ava picked at the plastic label of her water bottle. “I have to.” It was chicken nugget day, and a pile of them sat untouched on her plate.
“I don’t know,” said Jordan. “If she doesn’t go, she’s always going to wonder.”
“Exactly what I said.” CJ picked one of the nuggets off Ava’s plate and held it up. “Are you not eating?”