Most Likely (Most Likely #1) - Sarah Watson Page 0,47

of yourself.”

Ava smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

“What’s going to tip you over the net, one way or the other, are the personal essays.”

“Of course,” said her mom. “One of the other partners at my firm gave me the number of a college-essay advisor. I’m told she’s phenomenal.”

“That’ll be helpful,” said Ms. Fischer. Then she turned back to Ava. “I also spoke to your art teacher, Mrs. Simon.” Ava felt her mouth go dry. “She told me that you’re one of the most talented students she’s ever had.”

Ava shrugged. “I guess.”

Her mom gave her a small nudge and whispered to her, “Ava, take the compliment.”

“Thank you,” said Ava.

Ms. Fischer smiled. “She was very effusive. She also mentioned that you’ve been working on a portfolio for the Rhode Island School of Design.”

“Uh…” Ava said. “Um.”

Her heart thumped deep in her chest, and she could feel her mom staring at her. At that exact moment, an unexpected image popped into Ava’s head. It was Logan Diffenderfer. She thought about him with his camera and his list of favorite directors. He had a dream and he was ignoring it. She didn’t want to be like that.

“That’s my top choice,” Ava said. “I want to go to RISD.”

Ava’s mom smiled thinly. Ava couldn’t even make eye contact with her.

“Oh?” said her mom.

The mood shifted in the room. They talked for another thirty minutes, but Ava couldn’t hear much over the blood rushing through her ears. Her mom sat with her legs tightly crossed and her hands rigidly folded. It was unsettling not to know what she was thinking.

As soon as they got to the car, Ava found out. “It’s not that I don’t support your art,” her mom said, hands tight on the steering wheel. “It’s just that you are capable of so much more. Do you even understand how incredible you are? It takes guts and strength to do what you did freshman year. You rebounded from something horrible and are now one of the best students in that school. Just think of what you can do with your life. Your choices are limitless.”

“I want this, Mom. It’s what I love doing.”

Her mom pulled into traffic without really looking. A horn honked and a car swerved. “I have the right-of-way, jerk!” she shouted, even though she didn’t. “You can still take art as an elective. But be practical. What are you going to do with an art degree?”

Ava released her toes. She didn’t even remember when she’d started clenching them. “I would be an artist.”

Her mom sighed and threw her hands up for a second until she remembered they should be on the steering wheel. “That’s not a realistic career.”

There were brake lights ahead, and her mom slowed down as the traffic piled up.

“I know it’s hard to understand when you’re still in high school and everything is taken care of for you, but as you get a little older, you are going to see the value in being financially secure. You don’t ever want to be in a position where you have to rely on anyone else. That’s when choices get taken away from you. I worked hard to get you on a good track so you won’t ever have to rely on a man. Or woman,” she quickly added. At least she was giving Ava some choice in her life.

“I’m not going to rely on a man, Mom. I promise. Why don’t you want me to follow my dream?”

Her mom gripped the steering wheel hard. “Oh, Ava. Why do you think they’re called dreams? Because they’re not realistic. You are too smart—”

“What if I’m not?” Ava said it quietly and calmly.

Her mom whipped her head over. “Of course you’re smart. Your GPA—”

“Is only high because you’ve hired a million tutors. What if I only do well because of all the extra help? What if I’m actually dumb?”

It was Ava’s greatest fear. It was the thing she overheard Logan Diffenderfer say when they were freshmen. He’d called her dumb, and every day since, she’d wondered if he was right.

“Ava, come on.” Her mom was trying to balance her attention between the road and her daughter. “You are smart.”

“I’m not. I know it. The school knows it. I know that they wanted to drop me out of the advanced track freshman year.”

Ava could see the panic in her mom’s face. She hadn’t known that Ava knew.

“I know what you did, Mom. You’re the only reason they didn’t dump me like they should’ve. I’ve known this whole