Shuffling along the hallway she saw the living-room door was ajar and prodded it open. The lights were low and Zack’s laptop stood open on the coffee table. Zack was stretched across the sofa, fast asleep.
Fuzzy-headed and weak-limbed though she was, Ellie couldn’t stop looking at him; it was literally impossible to tear her gaze away. She’d never seen Zack sleeping before. In the warm glow of the table lamp his face was relaxed, softened. His dark lashes cast shadows beneath his eyes and his cheekbones were enhanced. There was stubble on his chin. He was lying on his back with his feet crossed at the ankles and one hand resting on his chest. His breathing was even. Best of all, he wasn’t making a sound.
A non-snorer. Always nice to know.
OK, stop that. You’re ill.
Ellie turned away and headed for the kitchen. He’d done a good job on the floor; it wasn’t slippy at all. Feeling more awake now, and fractionally better than before, she opened the fridge and took out another can of Sprite. It took three goes to get the ringpull off. Zack had also bought yogurts, strawberry mousses, jellies, and various bottles of freshly squeezed juice. Her stomach growled; she hadn’t eaten anything for over twenty-four hours. She closed the fridge and left the kitchen, unable to resist another peep into the living room on her way back to bed.
But this time Zack’s eyes were open, her fridge investigation evidently having woken him up. He turned his head to look at her and said sleepily, ‘You were supposed to give me a shout. I’d have got that for you.’
‘It’s OK, I needed a wee anyway.’ Oh God, I can’t believe I just said that.
‘How are you feeling?’
Ellie hung on to the door. ‘Embarrassed that I just said wee in front of my boss.’
He laughed. ‘Don’t be. It’s what all my sisters say. I’m quite used to it.’
‘I thought you’d gone home ages ago.’
‘I’m not fussy where I sleep. This is a comfortable sofa. You’re looking a bit better.’
‘That’s hard to believe.’ Ellie raked her fingers through her hair. Glancing down, she double-checked that the nightie came to just above her knees. That was OK; she didn’t want to give him an inadvertent flash of her pink knickers. If she’d realized he was still here, she would have put on a dressing gown. But it was too late now, he’d seen her in her deeply unglamorous nightwear and bare legs.
Zack stretched and sat up. ‘Is there anything else you want?’
She hesitated. After so much sleep she was actually feeling a tiny bit better. ‘Maybe… could you do, um… cheese on toast?’
Zack grinned. He rose and pointed to the sofa. ‘Here, you sit down. Are you asking me if I know how to make cheese on toast?’
She managed a brief smile in return. ‘It’s OK if you don’t. Just Shredded Wheat would be fine.’
Ellie sat with her feet up on the sofa, her head resting on the cushions Zack’s own head had rested against minutes before. It was silent outside the flat. Here they were in the middle of the night and it felt as if they were the only two people awake in Primrose Hill.
Then Zack came back with two plates of cheese on toast, grilled to perfection. He’d cut hers into strips to make them easier to eat. He’d also made himself a cup of strong black coffee. Together in the living room they shared a mini picnic in weirdly companionable near silence. When the toast was finished, Zack brought her a strawberry mousse. Somewhere in the distance a siren wailed. As dawn broke, birds began to sing to each other in the trees at the back of the house. Car sounds started up. Ellie’s eyelids grew heavy and the exhaustion overtook her once more. From what felt like a great distance she was aware of Zack adjusting the sofa cushions to make her more comfortable. It was like being five years old again, cared for and cosseted. Her head was pounding but it didn’t matter. She smiled and murmured, ‘That feels nice… you’re so lovely…’
***
…And awake again, hours later, with a start. Still on the sofa, alone in the flat and suffering the most hideous of flashbacks.
That feels nice… you’re so lovely…
Oh God, had she really said that? Had those words actually come out of her mouth whilst she’d been in her enfeebled, almost-asleep state? She hadn’t meant to say them, had possibly thought