‘That’s right. My name’s Ellie Kendall, and my friend persuaded me to call you. I hope you’ll consider me, because I really think we could be a good match. I’m local, very hardworking, my typing speeds are brilliant, and I—’
‘Hang on, sorry, you’ve lost me here, I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ said Zack.
‘Oh!’ She sounded taken aback.
‘What kind of job are you applying for?’
‘Well, working as your PA.’
‘I’m afraid there’s been some misunderstanding. I already have a PA and I’m perfectly happy with her.’
‘Oh right, but… no, OK, I’m really sorry. My mistake.’ Hurriedly the girl said, ‘Sorry to bother you. Bye.’
‘Wait—’ But it was too late; she had already hung up. And what would have been the point in prolonging the conversation anyway? Zack’s stomach rumbled, reminding him that he needed to eat something before settling down to the paperwork. An ice-cold beer and a ferociously hot curry, that was his priority now. Then he would dictate the most important letters so that first thing in the morning Barbara could get them typed up and sent out.
***
‘So there we are. I know this has come as a shock, but rest assured you don’t have to worry about a thing. I shan’t leave you high and dry.’ Barbara’s tone was consoling. ‘I’m going to devote myself to the task of finding you a worthy replacement.’
Zack looked at the official letter of resignation she had handed him before launching into her little speech.
‘Thank you. Well, I’ll be sorry to lose you, but it’ll be exciting for you. And the Algarve’s beautiful. You never know, you might take up golf yourself.’
Barbara shuddered. ‘I can assure you I won’t.’
He smiled slightly. ‘And at least this solves one mystery.’
‘Oh?’
‘I had a phone call last night from someone applying to be my PA.’
Barbara closed her eyes in despair. ‘That dreadful, pushy girl. I’m so sorry. She knew I wasn’t telling you until today.’
Mildly diverted, Zack said, ‘But you told her yesterday?’
‘Of course I didn’t tell her! She eavesdropped on a private conversation! Then she followed me here and said her friend could take over my job. She was most persistent. I’m afraid I ended up giving her one of your cards, otherwise I’d never have got rid of her.’
‘Well, you could call that enterprising.’ Barbara’s reaction amused him. ‘And the friend sounded very keen on the phone. Maybe I should see her.’
‘Oh no no no.’ Chins wobbling, Barbara vehemently shook her head. ‘No no no no, trust me, absolutely not the type of person you’d want to hire.’
‘But… hang on, have I got this right? You didn’t actually meet the girl’s friend.’
‘Zack, I didn’t need to. This girl had hair like a punk rocker, all chopped and dyed. And silver boots!’ Barbara shuddered. ‘The entire outfit was bizarre. And her T-shirt was obscene. Believe me, you wouldn’t want to employ anyone who’s friendly with a girl like that. No, no, just leave it to me. I’ll find you the right lady.’
To tease her, Zack said, ‘Or man.’
‘I can assure you, it’ll be a lady.’ Nobody had ever accused Barbara of having a sense of humor. With a dismissive sniff she retorted, ‘Men can’t multitask.’
***
It was Thursday evening. True to her word, Barbara had drawn up a shortlist of six eminently suitable applicants for the position of replacement PA. Zack had spent the afternoon interviewing them, and it was safe to say it hadn’t been the most enthralling three hours of his life.
All the ladies were super-efficient, incredibly organized, and vastly experienced. But if there was such a thing as crimplene overload, he was suffering from it. Even when they hadn’t been wearing any, they still exuded the aura of crimplene. Each of them had been in their mid to late fifties, with sensible hair and minimal—if any—makeup. Smart interview outfits. Below-the-knee skirts. Low-heeled shoes. Clipped, unvarnished fingernails. Basically, Barbara had provided him with half a dozen clones of herself. Zack knew why she’d done it, and in theory he agreed, but the prospect of choosing one of them, it had to be said, didn’t fill him with joy.
Fifteen minutes later he emerged from the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Heading downstairs to the office, he flipped back through the notepad on his desk until he found the page he was looking for.
There was the number he’d scribbled down, the one belonging to the friend of the unsuitable girl