trip on the London Eye. Joe was fun, he was funny, they had a fantastic time together, and when he kissed her she enjoyed kissing him back. The chemistry that had been so painfully absent between herself and Todd was here in spades. The prospect of taking things further no longer made her feel panicky and slightly sick. Her libido, after nineteen months in deep-frozen hibernation, was back.
And the time had now come to take things to the next level.
Here, tonight, in just a few minutes’ time.
Ellie peered more closely at her reflection. Did she look different already? Were her pupils more dilated than usual? Was this really OK?
Quite often when she looked in this mirror, she would see Jamie in the bathroom behind her. But there was no sign of him tonight and her mind skittered away from the idea of conjuring him up. What for, so she could ask him if it was all right? So she could make him tell her not to worry, he didn’t mind, it was fine?
No, this was her night. It was only fair that Jamie should stay away, leave her alone to get on with it.
Get it over with.
That wasn’t fair. It was just a big step emotionally. As soon as the first time after Jamie was out of the way, it would be easier.
Anyway, it was nice to have these kinds of feelings again. A small part of her had secretly worried sometimes that they might be gone for good.
There was a light knock on the door.
‘Hello?’ said Joe from the other side. ‘Are you still in there? Or have you jumped out of the window?’
Ellie smiled and opened the door. ‘I’m still here.’
He wrapped his arms around her. ‘Nervous?’
‘Kind of.’
‘We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.’
‘I do want to.’
‘Well, that’s good. So do I.’ Joe kissed the tip of her nose, then rested his forehead against hers. ‘Just so you know, I’m a bit nervous too.’
Maybe she shouldn’t have told him he’d be the first since Jamie. It was bound to put him under pressure. Ellie led him across the hallway towards the bedroom. ‘Come on, let’s do this thing.’
Joe grinned. ‘Get the first time over and out of the way.’
See? He understood.
‘Exactly.’
And then, hopefully, they could do it again.
***
It was a stunning morning, sunny and warm with a cloudless sky overhead, the kind of morning that made you feel glad to be alive.
Zack, walking Elmo, wasn’t feeling glad about anything. The last week surely ranked among the crappiest of his life. In between his trip to Milan and another flying visit to Dundee, he had been forced to watch Ellie fall in love with another man. Or in lust. Whichever, it had been a hideous experience. There was a new light in her eyes, she always seemed to be on the brink of smiling, and there was an aura about her that definitely hadn’t been there before. It was fizzing out of her like an out-of-control Alka-Seltzer.
Nor was she capable of keeping her newfound happiness to herself. The namechecks had been coming thick and fast. When Zack had made a comment about his flight back from Milan, Ellie had launched into something funny that had happened to Joe when he’d been on his way over to LA. If he made her a coffee, she retaliated with a Joe-related anecdote about coffee. When he asked her if she’d watched Dragons’ Den last night, Ellie said, ‘No, we were out, Joe took me to a salsa bar, it was brilliant.’
As if he was remotely interested. Each fresh detail was like lemon juice in a wound but Ellie simply couldn’t help herself; she carried on regaling him with stories about Joe Kerrigan and in return he had to listen and nod and smile as if he were pleased for her.
Elmo danced on the end of his lead, snuffling at a candy wrapper on the pavement. Zack pulled him away, carried on walking, and checked his watch. Half eight.
As a rule, the journey from Primrose Hill to Ancram Street didn’t take in Nevis Street. But today, he told himself, he just happened to feel like heading in that direction. Coincidentally he’d felt the same way yesterday. OK, and the day before.
Well, a bit of extra exercise never did any harm, did it?
But in the same way that listeners never hear good of themselves, less than two minutes later Zack saw what he really hadn’t wanted to see. He and