A Mixture of Madness, Book II of The Bow - By Levkoff, Andrew Page 0,71

small room, pale and lovely. “Take that look from your face and come sit by me.” I did as I was told. There was a sour smell in the room and a cloth-covered pail by her bedside. Livia took a sprig of mint from a vase by her nightstand and held my hand while she chewed it thoroughly. Then she lifted the cloth and spit the remainder into the pail.

“I’m not ill. Here, feel. Gently.” She guided my hands to her breasts and I felt their swollen weight. “Now,” she said, pulling me to her, “come kiss the mother of your child.”

Is it manly to cry at such joy? Why should grief be the only beneficiary of our tears? After all we had endured, there were salted drops enough that fell for sadness. I bathed my vulpecula’s cheeks with my happiness and did my best to balance the scales. We laughed between caresses and whispered breathless words of affection to mouth, eyelash and ear, but soon there was only one way remaining to express the distillation of a thousand lyric poems. I pulled away from her and asked with insistent eyes. She nodded once and raised her tunic. We were soon lost in a place we hoped never to be found. The sounds we made we did not hear. We were so close, yet still apart, maddened by the atoms that kept us separate. At last, even ecstasy flew apart and we disappeared entirely, blown into a space without thought or boundary or time. At the end, when I found myself in myself again, Livia was there to meet me, breathless and smiling. We lay quietly, holding each other, listening as the sounds of the world slowly became real again. Having gone to that emptiness together, it felt almost sad to return.

•••

Slaves are forbidden to marry. They may form a contubernium if the master permits, they may cohabitate, have children, live the simulacrum of a life. When I came to him in his office with the request and the news of Livia’s pregnancy, Crassus rose from his chair and came around his desk. I thought he was going to shake my hand, but he held me by the shoulders, told me I deserved every happiness, then embraced me like a brother. I blinked with surprise and suppressed pride. When he finally released me, his lips were pressed together in a tight smile and his eyes were shining. He rummaged through the clutter that surrounded his work space, but finally beaten, told me to take 25,000 sesterces for myself from the treasury. It wasn’t as if I did not know where the money was stored. I complained of his generosity, to which he responded it was worth every as to see an end to the pining he had had to endure for years.

With his wealth and the number of slaves already in his employ, another mouth to feed meant nothing to Crassus. His happiness for both Livia and myself was unsullied by greed. Not so with almost every other Roman slave owner, by which I mean practically every Roman citizen or freeborn. Even soldiers taking up the non-military life see that their “wives” have at least one, two if they can afford it. The more slaves, the more status. Coupling and procreation by their property is not only permitted but encouraged, for who would not be pleased to get something for nothing. Every child of a slave is born into that same condition, with no rights or property save those given them by the generosity of their masters. Anyone fortunate enough to own a mating pair of slaves is further gratified by the fact that, considering the foreign captives trudging to Rome each year by the thousands, they will be increasing their household with one whose native tongue will be Latin.

Malchus and Betto had conspired to have crafted a gift they were wise enough to present to me when Livia was absent. It was a set of six throwing knives and a supple leather belt to sheathe them. To Livia, they gave a pair of gold earrings with drops of carnelian swinging from gold strands. She thanked them from her heart, but chided that this was not a gift for both of us. While Malchus was saying that I had only to see her wearing them to know they were as much a gift for me as for Livia, at the same time Betto said that this was as much as