The Mistake (Bad Bridesmaids #1) - Noelle Adams Page 0,46

a hole in her heart that didn’t make any sense.

Despite her best intentions of being mature and patient, it felt like she was broken.

Emotion pulsed through her, lodging in her throat until she could barely breathe. She held on to the rail and bent over, taking a few ragged breaths, her face contorted with her attempt to hold herself together.

Of course it was unreasonable to expect Robert to change so quickly. Of course she was being silly and needy to require a full commitment so early in a relationship.

But she was all in, and she couldn’t do this unless he was all in too.

She was such an idiot. She’d broken her own heart after all.

ROBERT HAD BEEN HAVING a good day.

An incredible day.

Probably the best day he’d ever had in his life.

He wasn’t by nature an optimistic person, so he’d never have expected for things with Amanda to go exactly as he’d been dreaming. He’d been serious about being friends with her. Being what she needed and not selfishly demanding more if she didn’t want that.

But it really seemed like she did want that. She’d let him hold her in his arms as she went to sleep, and then this morning they’d shared something more deep and intimate and passionate than he’d ever believed he could experience.

It had been as real as anything had ever been in his life, and he’d been so happy and hopeful after she left, dreaming for the first time about how his life might look from here on out.

How loving her could transform it.

But they hadn’t actually talked about it, and he wasn’t about to scare her away by moving too fast. So he figured it was smarter to follow her lead about how they should act out in public.

He had a good time at the wedding, and he was so full of hope and affection and something akin to pride as he watched her socialize at the reception. Everyone loved her. Saw how brilliant and funny and generous she was. When she did her pageant moves, he was too filled with emotion to even laugh.

He’d never been an emotional person, so it was a lot for him to process.

But then something cracked inside her. He saw it happen, although she hid it well enough that no one else appeared to notice. She said something about going to the bathroom, and she made her escape. He saw her stumble slightly, as if she were in a hurry to get away.

So he followed her. What else would he do? He watched as she looked around, clearly searching for a place to go, and then she ended up near where they’d had the ceremony.

She clung to the rail. Gasped through a few choked sobs. And buckled over the way he’d seen her do at her sister’s wedding when her heart had been broken.

It felt like Robert’s own heart broke as he watched.

Because this might have been the best day of his life—the happiest he’d ever been—but she wasn’t happy too. She clearly didn’t want him the way he wanted her.

Maybe she was still yearning for a man she couldn’t have.

It hurt so much his eyes glazed over and he couldn’t move for a full minute. This was always what he’d been protecting himself from. This reality of absolute loss.

When he could finally take a breath and move his hands and feet, he started to turn around and leave. It was always his instinct. Run away from anything that might hurt him.

But Amanda was hurting too right now, and he loved her too much to let it go unanswered. He had to go comfort her even if it broke him even more. So instead of leaving, he walked up behind her and asked quietly, “What can I do?”

She turned toward him with a jerk, and then her face twisted with sobs she was trying to control. She shook her head for a minute until she was able to say, “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do. It’s... me. It’s all my fault.”

Robert winced. Literally winced at words that felt like a blade in his heart. But he fought through it enough to murmur, “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. Tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

That was apparently the final thread of her control. Her whole body shook with sobs.

He reached out to pull her against him, wrapping his arms around her. He held her as tightly as he could, wondering if this