Mirage - Alice Tribue Page 0,58
I sell sex for a living… You know I’m filthy rich, right? Well, I’ve made my money by pimping girls out to the highest paying assholes. Oh, my God, he’s going to leave me. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going to walk away. Every single bad thing I’ve ever done has come down to right now, to this moment where I’m about to lose the one thing that I want the most. Thank you, fucking Karma, you really are a bitch.
I don’t remember ever picking up the soap. I’m not sure if I even washed my hair because it’s all a blur. I’m on autopilot as I dry myself off, run a brush through my wet hair, and pull on a pair of silk pajamas. I walk into the bedroom, quickly check my phone for messages, and take a breath. I turn my head up to the sky and sigh.
“I know I don’t pray much, and I know that I have done so many terrible things in my life, but please, please don’t let me lose him. I love him.”
I make my way out of the bedroom and look around. The space is empty; there’s a plate placed on the kitchen counter along with a bottled water. I turn to see Nathan coming out of my office while he zips up his backpack.
“Hey baby, one of my guys just called, and I have to go.”
I tilt my head in confusion.
“What were you doing in my office?”
“I wasn’t getting any service in here; I went to stand by the windows in your office for better reception.”
I eye his backpack.
“Hey,” he calls, and I look up at him. “My cell was in my backpack. I had to dig it out, and I just never dropped it.”
I nod my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think I doubted you or anything.”
“I know that. It’s okay.”
“So, you’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to go. One of my guys called out again, and I need to go fill in.”
“Is it the same guy who called out last time?”
“Yeah, same one.”
“You should seriously think about replacing him.”
He nods his head and juts his chin toward the countertop.
“I made you a salad. Go eat and I’ll call you later.”
“Okay but there was something I wanted to tell you.”
“Can it wait till tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I tell him. What’s one more night of sitting on this massive lie?
“Come here,” he commands, dropping the backpack and opening his arms up for me. I do as I’m told, walking right into them. I command myself to memorize how they feel around me, how it makes me feel to be wrapped up in him, to memorize his smell, the way his chest moves up and down when he breathes, the way he tightens his hold on me just before he releases me. I memorize it all so that I can hold onto it once he’s gone.
“You know I love you, right?” he asks, his breath blowing warm through my hair.
“I know,” I confirm, choking back a sob.
“Don’t ever forget it. No matter what happens, I’ll always love you.” It’s as if he knows exactly what I need to hear, the exact words to make me hold onto something, to hold onto a glimmer of hope.
“I won’t forget.”
He leans in for one last kiss, a final memory to file away in the event that the worst should happen between us. He pulls away, grabbing his backpack, and leaves me standing there once again hoping that fate will have mercy on me. I take a few bites of the salad that Nathan made for me, not able to eat much more as I have lost my appetite. Once I’ve eaten as much as I can, I throw out the remainder of it and rinse the dish. I head back into my bedroom, lie down, and turn off the lights, opting to sleep off the despair instead of staying up all night worrying about things I can’t change. It takes me a while, but I finally find sleep in the late hours of the evening.
It isn’t until after I fall asleep that all hell breaks loose. It isn’t until after I fall asleep that I wake up in a panic as my front door is being kicked down. I scream bloody murder at the same time a shitload of men, all with weapons, badges, and bulletproof vests, come crashing into my bedroom. I know my life has officially come to a screeching