Mirage - Alice Tribue Page 0,29
I trust it? Trust what I’m feeling and listen to that instead of what my head tells me.
“Is everything okay with you, Dad?” I ask him after our orders have been placed and our food has been brought out. “I know I’m not around much, and I’m sorry for that.”
“I’m great, baby. I don’t want you to feel bad about your life. I know you’re busy, and I’m proud of you, proud of what you’ve become.”
Every word that he says guts me because his pride in me is misplaced and unjustified. It’s based on secrets and lies—he sees what I want him to see, he sees only what I let him see, and it’s all a mirage.
***
I make it home, put on a pair of comfy pajamas, pour a glass of red wine, and sit in front of the television. As I flip through the channels, my mind wanders to thoughts of Nathan. I told him that I’d be having dinner with my dad tonight, and he told me that he would catch up with me tomorrow. I never asked him if he’d like to meet my dad or join us for dinner. I honestly didn’t think it was appropriate, but as I sat there with my dad, I almost wished I had invited him. In all the time I was with Collin, I never thought about introducing him to my dad. I guess I knew that it was a doomed relationship from the start.
Nathan has yet to bug me about the hours I keep at work and the time it takes to run a business. I know it’s still new, but it’s promising. I’m almost hopeful that he doesn’t turn out to be like every other guy. Against my better judgment, I pick up the phone, pull up my contacts, and call Nathan.
I freeze when an unfamiliar female voice answers the phone. “Hello?”
One word; one word from her is all it takes to shatter the illusion and break through all of the smoke and mirrors to reveal what’s really there.
“Hello?” she asks again, and I can’t speak. It really doesn’t matter what I say, it won’t change the fact that another woman is answering Nathan’s phone. I hang up and turn the phone off in case he realizes that I called. I don’t want to hear his voice or his excuse. No. Excuses are useless, and I won’t bother with listening to them.
I settle on a classic movie and borough myself into the comfy cushions of my couch, all the while telling myself that I don’t care that Nathan is with another woman and that it’s for the best. I’ve always known what men are like, and he’s no different. I’ve always known that my time was better spent on myself and my career and hearing her pick up his phone is just the wake-up call that I needed. I ignore the burning in my chest and the stinging feeling in my nose and push back the unshed tears. They have no business falling over someone who clearly doesn’t deserve them, over someone who does not matter. I will not waste another moment, another thought, another breath on Nathan Lennox. As of this moment, he’s out of my life forever. Game over.
CHAPTER EIGHT
All night long, I tossed and turned. I kept playing everything out in my mind over and over again—how Nathan and I met, how he tracked me down, how he pursued me until I barely had a choice. I must have been a foregone conclusion for him. I just don’t understand why he would go through so much trouble to get me to want him. I’d say he was just using me, but we never even had sex. None of it makes any sense.
I hate him, I tell myself, taking one last look in the mirror before I head out of my apartment and into my awaiting car. I finally turn my phone on once I’ve settled in the backseat. I thought I’d be bombarded by a slew of voicemails or text messages, but I’m not. There’s only one text and a voicemail from Nathan. I don’t read his message, and I don’t listen to his voicemail. They don’t exist as far as I’m concerned.
I make it to work, rushing into the office. I walk right past Ivy’s desk, not giving her a second glance and barely muttering a greeting. I slam the door to my office, toss my purse on the desk, and plop down into