Mirage - Alice Tribue Page 0,27
means; how difficult it is for me not only to want him, but also to make myself vulnerable enough to verbalize it. That’s so unlike the woman that I’ve become—more like the woman I once was, a woman I chose to say good-bye to long ago. Not because she wasn’t good enough but because her heart was genuine, true, and damaged beyond repair. Or so I thought… But maybe Nathan… No, I can’t think about that now. I can’t let myself believe that someone can actually fix something so broken, but as I come in flashing lights of colors for just the briefest of moments, I don’t feel so broken at all. He kisses my inner thighs and then he’s back on the couch and pulling me into his lap.
“You feel all right?”
“I’m good,” I tell him, lowering my lips to his neck and placing gentle kisses there while I move to straddle him. He grabs hold of my waist keeping me where I am.
“What’s wrong?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?” I ask suddenly feeling embarrassed and confused.
He tugs at a strand of my hair, releases it, and runs his thumb gently up and down my cheek. It would be sweet if I weren’t feeling a certain type of way. “It’s not the right time.”
“What does that mean, Nathan? We’re two consenting adults.”
“I don’t want our first time to be on a couch, Tori, after we’ve just argued.”
Pushing off him with as much speed as I can muster, I grab for my pants on the ground and pull them on as quickly as I can.
“I get it.”
“I don’t think you do,” he declares, obviously reading the agitation on my features.
“What’s your game here, Nathan? You have been after me since day one, not the other way around, and now you’re acting like this.” I hesitate. “Like I’m not good enough for you.”
“That’s not what I’m doing; you know that’s not true.” He takes two strides in my direction, and I take two steps back. But I’m not quick enough because he reaches out, grabs my wrist, and pulls me into him. His arms go around my waist and his forehead touches mine. “I care about you, sweetheart. I just don’t want to rush it, and believe me, I want you. I want you right fucking now, but I don’t think you’re one hundred percent in it yet. There’s still doubt there for you, and I don’t want to be just another regret that lives in your past.”
“Maybe that was true but I’m getting there, Nathan. You know that.”
“You’re getting there, but you’re not there yet.”
Shit, I said it but didn’t even realize that I had. I’d never had anybody give a shit about my potential regrets; can I really be mad at that?
“I just don’t know how to take you. I’ve never met someone like you.”
“That’s because you’ve probably been dealing with assholes, babe. I’m an asshole, but not the kind who’s going to take advantage, take what you have to give, and give you nothing in return. I want in there, and in wanting that, I need to lay the groundwork in order for that to happen.”
“You want in there?”
“Yeah,” he says with a squeeze of his hands before letting me go. “Are we good now or are we going to spend any more of this night arguing?”
“We’re good.”
“Good, then can I stay?”
“Yeah,” I tell him because there’s nothing I want more right now than to have him spend the night with me and revel in his words.
I want in there.
I’ve never had anybody say anything like that to me before. It scares and excites me, but I was happy to hear it. The time for talking is over when he pulls me into my bedroom. He heads into the adjoining bathroom to take care of business, giving me just enough time to get myself ready for bed by changing into a white cotton keyhole camisole and matching boy shorts.
“You’re not making this easy on me, baby,” I hear from behind me. I turn to face him, giving him my best look of innocence. I try my hardest not to ogle his six pack or the way this boxer briefs hug everything just right. Why does he have to be so ridiculously perfect?
“I don’t know what you mean.” I walk over to my oversized bed, pull back the covers, and slide in. A thick arm lands heavily across my middle and pulls me backward until I hit a warm body. He settles