Mirage - Alice Tribue Page 0,22
that I deal with on a daily basis. I’m very aware of the fact that I bring it on myself, but it’s part of this life and until I leave it behind, there’s nothing I can do other than live with it.
I spot Nathan around the same time that he spots me, reaching the car and opening the door for me as it pulls to the curb. My hand is in his before I can protest and I’m out of the car and in his arms, his lips on mine. I let myself go, let myself accept what he’s giving me, because it’s by far the best thing that’s happened to me all day. The anxiety begins to ebb out of my body, and the tension that holds onto me starts to release. My arms wrap around his neck, and I take what I need, just enough to bring me down from a place of pure panic. The sense of overwhelming peace I have, out here in the middle of this overcrowded, loud city, is consuming me.
When he finally pulls away, I have no words. There are no words to explain what he just gave to me and why it’s so important. It wasn’t about him opening a car door, or a heated kiss, a public display of affection. It’s about him, about how he met me for lunch just because I asked. He didn’t hesitate. He just did it because he knew I needed it. And I don’t understand that part because I’ve never had it before. That’s the part that makes this so hard, the reason I can’t push him away even though I think I should.
My eyes flutter open, bringing him into focus “Hi,” I greet him barely above a whisper.
“Hi.” His expressive eyes tell me that he’s happy to see me. He gives me a final squeeze before moving us off the sidewalk and into the busy restaurant.
“You going to tell me what’s wrong?” he probes after we place our orders.
“Nothing’s wrong really. It’s just been a hectic day, and I needed to get the hell out of there.”
“If you say so.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I tilt my head in question. “You don’t believe what I’m saying?”
“No, I believe you. I also think there’s more to it than that.”
“One of my employees just told me that she’s pregnant.”
“And this is bad because…?”
“It’s not bad. I’m happy for her. It’s just that she’s considering leaving now. She’s been with me a long time.”
“I see.”
“You can’t force her to stay, babe, but I guarantee that you’ll be fine even if she does leave.”
I think about what he’s saying. Granted, he doesn’t know the depth of the problem and the drama behind it, but his words are still true. Things will be fine; they always have a way of working out in the end. Now I feel foolish for having stressed myself out about it like this.
“You’re right; I guess I just needed someone else to tell me.”
Reaching across the table, he takes hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m glad you thought of me.”
“You are?” God, I sound so unsure of myself. Is that how I feel when I’m around Nathan? Unsure? I guess a part of me does feel that way, like I don’t know if I can trust him even though I desperately want to.
“Uh-huh, I have to admit I was shocked that you called me at all.”
“Was that the first time I ever called you?”
“Yes.”
I think of it and realize he’s right. I have never picked up the phone on my own just to call or even text Nathan. He’s always the one who initiates our interactions with each other. I guess I have been more guarded than I thought.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so…”
“Challenging?” He finishes my sentence with a grin.
“Sure, we’ll go with that.” I smile coyly at him.
Our lunch is served, and we sit in silence for a bit. My mind runs a mile a minute thinking about Nathan and about what’s happening between us. We obviously like each other, and there’s ridiculous chemistry, that much is true. What do we really know about each other? I, for one, know very little about him. He hasn’t told me much about his life, but I guess I haven’t exactly asked him either.
“Are your parents still in Michigan?”
“Yeah, they still live in the same house we grew up in. My little sister is back there, too. I’ve been