the process of trying to drag the dog back into the flat but Arnie was having none of it. He hadn’t had excitement like this for a long time.
It took both of the Wards to manouevre the dog in enough to shut their door, Mr Ward pulling with all his might and his wife getting in front of Arnie and using her ample body as a sort of battering ram. Nick stood watching them as though he couldn’t believe his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest and his face dark.
They had no sooner shut their door when, above the sounds of, ‘No more, Arnie!’ and ‘Quiet, boy, quiet! Lie down!’, a timid voice above Cory said, ‘Is everything all right down there?’
Cory turned round and stared into the faces of the young couple from the top flat who were hovering on her landing. ‘Everything’s fine,’ she said again, wishing the inoffensive pair to the ends of the earth. ‘Go back to bed.’
Something in her voice must have convinced them not to prolong the discussion because they vanished immediately.
She turned back to Nick, who hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘I didn’t want us to part like this.’ She stared at him but the hard, handsome face didn’t change. ‘I thought we could be—’
Don’t say friends.’
‘Civilised. I was going to say civilised.’
‘I’m not civilised where you are concerned, Cory. I thought you knew that.’
For a moment she couldn’t speak.
‘Go to bed.’ It was toneless, final.
She opened her mouth to argue but suddenly there was so much anger in his face that she shut it again. And then she saw him visibly get his temper under control again. ‘I mean it, Cory. Before I do or say something I’ll regret.’
When she reached the landing and opened her door, switching on the light, Cory paused for a moment. Then she heard the front door to the building open and close. He had gone.
How long she sat on the sofa in the sitting room with her bag at her feet Cory didn’t know. Eventually she rose, walking into the kitchen on legs that were shaky. She made herself a mug of milky coffee, carrying it back into the sitting room.
Her hands cupped round the warmth of the mug, her brain seemed to kick in and come to life again. They were finished. She was never going to see him again. It was over. Why had she done it, why? She had made the biggest mistake of her life.
She swayed back and forth a few times, her eyes dry now she could cry at last. Suddenly the emptiness of what she saw before her was too consuming for the relief of tears.
If she had stayed with him who knew what the future might have held? He might have grown to love her like she loved him; he might. Anything was possible. People could change, mellow. He could have decided at some point down the line that he wanted more than a semi-bachelor existence. Marriage, even children might have presented themselves as attractive.
She finished the coffee before standing up and beginning to pace the room, twisting her hands in front of her like a demented woman. She had burnt all her bridges tonight because Nick was a proud man and he would never forgive her for this. Even if she begged him, he wouldn’t take her back now.
How could she have done it? Why had she been so stupid? It had seemed so right earlier after she had listened to him talking to Margaret, but now it seemed just as wrong. She didn’t understand herself. She didn’t understand herself at all. He had said he loved her. OK, it might not be the roses round the door and ring on the finger kind of emotion when he spoke about the word, but at least it had been a start. Now…
After a while she forced herself to go into the bedroom and get undressed. She had a shower, standing under the warm flow of water for some time, but nothing helped the terrible grinding pain in her heart. After brushing her teeth, she pulled on an old pair of pyjamas that had seen better days but which were fleecy and warm and climbed into bed. Half an hour later she was back in the sitting room again, not knowing what to do with herself.
She would go and see him in the morning. Eat humble pie. Crawl if necessary. She glanced at the clock. It was only three o’clock