Midnight Sun (The Twilight Saga #5) - Stephenie Meyer Page 0,288

“You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you’ve lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn’t like it—it made you smell all wrong for a while.”

She smiled, and then winced. “That must have been a nice change for you.”

“No, I like how you smell.”

She looked carefully into my eyes then, searching. After a long moment of this, she asked, “How did you do it?”

I didn’t know why this subject was so unpleasant. I had succeeded. I knew Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were awestruck by my accomplishment. But I couldn’t see it the same way. It had been too close. I remembered with such unbearable clarity how badly my body had wanted to stay in that bliss forever.

I couldn’t meet her gaze any longer. I looked down at her hand, taking it carefully into mine. The wires spilled out on either side.

“I’m not sure,” I whispered.

She didn’t speak, and I could feel her eyes on me, waiting for a better answer. I sighed.

My words were barely louder than a breath. “It was impossible… to stop. Impossible. But I did.”

I tried to smile at her then, to meet her gaze. “I must love you.”

“Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” She grinned at her joke, then flinched, feeling the damage to her cheekbone.

I didn’t try to play along with her lighthearted tone. Obviously, she shouldn’t be smiling.

“Even better,” I answered honestly, if a little bitterly. “Better than I’d imagined.”

“I’m sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of all the things to apologize for.”

She examined my expression, and seemed unsatisfied by what she found. “What should I apologize for?”

Nothing, I wanted to say, but I could see she was in an apologetic mood, so I gave her something to reflect on. “For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.”

She nodded absently, accepting that. “I’m sorry.”

I stroked the back of her hand, wondering if she could feel my touch through all the dressings. “I know why you did it. It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me.”

This made no sense to her. “You wouldn’t have let me go.”

“No,” I said through my teeth. “I wouldn’t.”

Her eyes were far away for a moment, and her heart sped. A shudder rocked through her, and then she hissed at the pain that caused.

“Bella, what’s wrong?”

She whimpered. “What happened to James?”

Well, I could set her at ease about this much. “After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him.”

She frowned, winced, then smoothed her expression. “I didn’t see Emmett and Jasper there.”

“They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood.” A river of it. For a second, it felt as though I were still stained with it.

“But you stayed,” she breathed.

“Yes, I stayed.”

“And Alice, and Carlisle…” Her voice was full of wonder.

I smiled just a little. “They love you, too, you know.”

Her expression was abruptly anxious again. “Did Alice see the tape?”

“Yes.”

It was a subject we were currently avoiding. I knew she was doing her own research, and she knew I wasn’t ready to discuss it with her yet.

“She was always in the dark,” Bella said urgently. “That’s why she didn’t remember.”

It was so very Bella that all her concern would be focused on someone else, even in this moment.

“I know. She understands now.”

I wasn’t sure what my face was doing, but it concerned Bella. She tried to reach up, to touch my cheek, but stopped when the IV pulled at her hand.

“Ugh,” she groaned.

Had she dislodged the IV? Her motion hadn’t been that rough, but it wasn’t as if I could examine it closely.

“What is it?” I demanded.

“Needles,” she said. She was staring up at the ceiling now, concentrating as if there were something more riveting than basic acoustic tiles above her. She took a deep breath, and I was stunned to see some pale green edging her lips.

“Afraid of a needle,” I grumbled. “Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…”

She rolled her eyes. The green was already fading.

Then her eyes cut to me and she asked in a troubled tone, “Why are you here?”

I’d thought… but that didn’t matter. “Do you want me to leave?”

Maybe what I needed to do would be easier than I’d thought. Pain stabbed through the general region of my