Midnight Sun (The Twilight Saga #5) - Stephenie Meyer Page 0,227

only one who’s allowed to get mad?”

I remembered how little she liked double standards.

“I wasn’t mad at you,” I assured her.

Her voice nearly dripped acid as she quoted me. “‘Bella, you’ll be the death of me.’”

My humor turned black but didn’t totally disappear. I’d spoken more truth in that moment of wild emotion than I’d meant to. “That was simply a statement of fact.”

She twisted in my hold, trying to pull away. I put one hand against her cheek so she couldn’t hide her face from me.

Before I could say more, she insisted, “You were mad!”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“But you just said—”

“That I wasn’t mad at you.” Nothing seemed funny now. She’d taken the blame on herself. “Can’t you see that, Bella? Don’t you understand?”

She frowned, confused and frustrated. “See what?”

“I’m never angry with you,” I explained. “How could I be? Brave, trusting… warm as you are.” Forgiving, kind, sympathetic, sincere, good… essential, crucial, life-giving… I could have gone on for a while, but she interrupted.

“Then why…?” she whispered.

I assumed her unfinished thought was something along the lines of Why did you snap at me so cruelly?

I took her face between both my hands, trying to communicate with my eyes as much as with my words, trying to put more force into each one.

“I infuriate myself,” I told her. “The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes… I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to—”

I was surprised when her fingers touched my lips, blocking the rest of what I wanted to say.

“Don’t,” she murmured.

The confusion had disappeared from her face, leaving only kindness behind.

I lifted her hand from my mouth and pressed it to my cheek.

“I love you,” I told her. “It’s a poor excuse for what I’m doing, but it’s still true.”

She stared at me with such warmth, such… adoration. There seemed to be only one answer to such a look.

It would have to be a restrained answer. There could be no more impulsiveness.

“Now, please try to behave yourself,” I murmured, speaking more to myself than to her.

Gently, I pressed my lips against hers for one brief second.

She was very still, holding even her breath. I straightened up quickly, waiting for her to breathe again.

She sighed.

“You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We’d better get going.”

Helping me again. I wished my weakness didn’t force her to have to be so strong.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I freed her, taking one of her hands to lead her forward on the correct course. We only had ten yards to go before we passed the edge of the wood and entered the huge, open field my family simply called the clearing. The trees had been scraped away by a glacier long ago, and now just a thin layer of soil covered the bedrock beneath. Wild grass and bracken were the only things that flourished here now. It was a convenient play place for us.

Carlisle was setting up the diamond while Alice and Jasper practiced some new tricks she wanted to perfect: If Jasper decided in advance to run a certain direction, Alice could see this decision and throw to his new position before he’d telegraphed the move. It didn’t give them much of an advantage, but as closely matched as we all were, anything had the potential to make them more competitive.

Esme was waiting for Bella and me, with Emmett and Rosalie sitting close beside her. When we stepped into view, I saw Rosalie yank her hand out of Esme’s before she turned her back to us and walked away.

Well, she hadn’t promised nice. I knew it was a large enough concession for her to simply be here.

Utterly ridiculous. Esme didn’t agree with me. She’d been trying to cajole Rose out of her mood all afternoon without much effect, and she was exasperated.

It’ll be all right once we start, Emmett was thinking. Like me, he was just relieved Rose had come.

Esme and Emmett moved forward to welcome us. I gave Emmett a cautioning look, and he grinned at me. Don’t worry, I promised.

He eyed Bella with interest. It was one thing to be around humans while visiting in their world, but something else entirely to have one visit ours. It was exciting. And a human who was, to his mind, more or less one of us now. He had only positive experiences with adding to the family. He was eager to include Bella as well.

I