Midnight Sun (The Twilight Saga #5) - Stephenie Meyer Page 0,196

her bet? A little ashamed of that, I thought.

“I want to ask you a favor,” I told her. “It won’t be easy for you, I know.”

This was not the direction she’d been expecting. My gentle tone only made her angrier, though.

You want me to be nice to the human, she guessed.

“Yes. You don’t have to like her, if you’d rather not. But she’s part of my life, and that makes her part of your life, too. I know you didn’t ask for this, and you don’t want it.”

No, I do not, she agreed.

“You didn’t ask my permission to bring Emmett home,” I reminded her.

She sniffed derisively. That’s different.

“More permanent, certainly.”

Rosalie stopped walking, and I paused with her. She stared at me, surprised and suspicious.

What do you mean by that? Aren’t you talking about permanence?

Her thoughts were so caught up with these questions, it took me by surprise when she spoke to a different subject.

“Did you feel harmed when I chose Emmett? Did that injure you in any way?”

“Of course not. You chose very well.”

She sniffed again, unimpressed with my flattery.

“Could you give me the chance to prove that I have, too?”

Rosalie spun away from me, striding north again, breaking a path now through the untamed forest.

I can’t look at her. When I look at her, I can’t see her as a person. I just see a waste.

Against my intentions, I felt my anger flare. I bit back a growl, and tried to compose myself. Rosalie glanced over her shoulder and saw the change in my expression. She paused again, swinging around to face me. Her features softened.

I am sorry. I don’t mean that to sound so cruel. I just can’t… I can’t watch her do this. “She’s got a chance for everything, Edward,” Rosalie whispered, her whole body rigid with intensity. “A whole life of possibilities ahead of her, and she’s going to waste it all. Everything I lost. I can’t bear to watch it.”

I stared back at her, shaken.

I’d been annoyed by Rosalie’s strange jealousy, which indeed had roots in my preference for Bella. That part was all so petty. But this was something different, so much deeper. I felt that I understood her now for the first time since I’d saved Bella’s life.

I reached out carefully to place my hand on her arm, expecting she would shake it off. But she just stood very still.

“I’m not going to let that happen,” I promised, matching her intensity.

She examined my face for a long moment. Then she pictured Bella in her mind. It wasn’t the perfect representation of Alice’s visions, more of a caricature, really. But it was clear what she meant. Bella’s skin was white, her eyes bright red. The image was flavored with heavy disgust.

This is not your goal?

I shook my head, just as disgusted. “No. No, I want her to have everything. I won’t take anything away from her, Rose. Do you understand? I won’t hurt her that way.”

She was unsettled now, too. But… how do you see that… working?

I shrugged, feigning a nonchalance I didn’t feel. “How long until she grows bored with a seventeen-year-old? Do you think I can keep her interested until she’s twenty-three? Maybe twenty-five? Eventually… she’ll move on.” I tried to control my face, to hide what the words cost me, but she saw through me.

This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Edward.

“I’ll find a way to survive. After she goes…” I flinched, my hand falling to my side.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said. Look, you’re not up to my personal standards, but there’s not a human man alive who can compare with you, and you know it.

I shook my head. “Someday she’ll want more than I can give her.” There was so much I couldn’t give her. “You would have wanted more, wouldn’t you? If you were in her position, and Emmett in mine?”

Rosalie took my question seriously, thinking it through. She imagined Emmett just as he was now, his easy smile, his hands held out to her. She saw herself human again, still lovely but less remarkable, reaching back to him. Then she imagined her human self turning away from him. Neither image seemed to satisfy her.

But I know what I lost, she thought, her tone subdued. I don’t think she’ll see it that way. “I’m going to sound like an octogenarian now,” she continued aloud, the faintest hint of levity suddenly in her voice. “But… you know kids these days.” She smiled weakly. “All about the here and