he would rather not, if it turns out that Catherine was having an affair with Alban Hythe, or some other man. I don’t know. I think he wants to do whatever is possible to clear Catherine’s name and show she was innocent. Perhaps all he really wants is to be doing something rather than nothing. To feel he is fighting the reality and not simply submitting to it. I can understand that … I think.”
“You are being very honest,” she observed.
“Are we not past pretending?” he asked. “I can return to it, if you wish, but I would rather not. I have lived with secrets for as long as I can remember. Some were worth keeping, probably most were not. Being too careful has become a habit.”
“Not a bad one,” she responded, smiling again. “Most of us tell others far too much, and then are embarrassed by it, always trying to remember exactly how much we said and then replaying it over and over to convince ourselves it was less indiscreet, less revealing than it seemed.”
“I cannot imagine you being indiscreet,” he remarked.
“Don’t be polite,” she said a little tartly. “You don’t know me as well as you might think. Certainly, at times, I have been at the very least duplicitous.”
“I’m greatly relieved,” he said fervently. “A few imperfections and the occasional vulnerability are very attractive in a woman. It allows a man to imagine he is, now and again, just a fraction superior. In your case, of course, he is not, but it is a necessary illusion, if we are to be comfortable.”
“I should like you to be comfortable,” she said, hiding a smile and turning to the waiter, who was inquiring as to their choice for the final course. She was not certain if she saw a faint color in Narraway’s cheeks or not.
THANKS TO THEIR CONVERSATION, Vespasia had made up her mind what she would do regarding Angeles Castelbranco. To begin with she must acquire as much information as possible. If Angeles had indeed been raped, then it must have been very recently. It should not be difficult to find out which functions she had attended in the last month. There were a considerable number of them, but they involved largely the same people. Diplomatic circles were fairly small, and occasions suitable for a girl of sixteen were limited.
A little invention, a great deal of tact, and half a dozen inquiries of friends produced a list of such parties over the previous four or five weeks.
It required all of the following day, and more evasion than was comfortable, before Vespasia had a rough draft of the guest lists. It would have been simpler to ask Isaura Castelbranco which parties Angeles had attended. However, for that she would have had to give a reason, and there was none that would not cause pain, or for which she could in any way account as her concern. She could not even imagine how the woman felt. Vespasia’s own family had caused her many emotions over the years. To love was to be vulnerable, especially regarding children. One feared for their safety, their happiness, their good health. One felt guilty for their unhappiness or their failures. One was bothered by their dependence, and terrified by their courage. One forgot one’s own mistakes, risks, high and absurd dreams and wanted only to protect them from hurt.
Then they grew up, married, and too often became almost strangers. They could not imagine that you were also afraid, fallible, could still dream and fall in love.
Perhaps that was just as well.
So she wrote and rewrote guest lists, and asked questions in roundabout ways. Two days after lunching with Victor Narraway, she had found what she believed was the event at which Angeles had been raped. Obtaining details was more difficult. She pondered for some time whom she could ask to give her an account of the evening, who was willing and observant enough. More than that, what reason could she offer for making such a request?
And who would be discreet enough afterward to keep their own counsel and not mention it to anyone at all? How could she even suggest to whoever it was that the matter must remain confidential? To most people, the very secrecy of it would be a spur to gossip. Each retelling would grow and mutate in the exercise.
She studied more closely the list of those who had been present at that event. There seemed to have been a considerable number