Idly, she rubbed at her throbbing temple, a move Tegan followed with his eyes. Are you all right?
Fine, she said, wincing a bit as the car stopped at a traffic light in the center of a crowded intersection downtown. Pedestrians crossed in front of them, a thick knot of people whose thoughts rattled Elise's head like a long roll of thunder. I'll be fine once we're out of the city.
Tegan stared at her.
You need more blood, he said, not sounding very happy about the idea. After so long without, feeding just one time isn't going to hold you. I'm okay, she insisted, wishing it were true. I'm not going to take anything more from you, Tegan.
I wasn't offering.
Humiliation flooded her at his grim statement of fact. You weren't offering that first time either, were you? I forced your hand that night at the compound, Tegan. I'm sorry.
Forget it. I'll live.
Well, he certainly closed the door on that subject. Actually, he seemed preoccupied and edgy, even more than usual. Elise had seen how appalled Tegan had been by the containment facility's practices.
She'd also seen the way he'd looked at Petrov Odolf, restrained and feverish from the Bloodlust that had robbed him of his sanity and, probably, his soul. Tegan, who was normally so detached and unmovable, had felt a degree of sympathy for the Rogue being held in that cell. Incredibly, it had seemed as though Tegan might even relate to the vampire's pitiful condition.
Elise could hardly imagine that, seeing how rigidly the warrior clung to his self-control. Or maybe he held on so tightly because he knew what it was like to lose his grasp...
She might have pondered that in more depth, but a fresh wave of nausea assailed her as another large group of people filed past the car while it waited for the light.
In a fluid move, Tegan came over onto the seat next to her. Come here. I'll trance you.
No. She drew away from him, not wanting any of his pity. No, I need to deal with this myself. It's my problem, like you've said. I want to manage it on my own.
Thankfully the vehicle was moving again, turning a corner onto a side street off the exclusive main thoroughfare with its bright boutique lights and milling crowds. It was better here, but still a struggle to hold it together under the constant battering of her mind. Her mind was like a broken radio receiver, intercepting only the worst feeds, bombarding her with countless inputs until the cacophony seemed to consume her.
Find one that you can focus on, Tegan said from beside her. His breath was warm, his fingers tender but commanding as he took hold of her hand. His thumb swept over her skin, gentling her. Grounding her. All you need is one, Elise. One voice that you can deal with on its own. Separate it from the others. Let the rest go. Let them fall away.
His deep voice was almost hypnotic, coaching her further into the pain of her gift so that she could learn to harness it. With eyes closed, she followed his direction, sifting through the terrible din to find something she could grasp ahold of. Slowly, bit by bit, she peeled away the worst of the voices in her mind until she heard one that hurt the least.
Focus on the one, Tegan murmured, still holding her hand, still guiding her with his words and the protective warmth of his touch. Pull one voice closer, even as the others begin to drift around you. They can't touch you. You're stronger than your gift, Elise. Your power is in you, in your own will.
She felt everything he was saying. She knew it was true. With his fingers wrapped around hers, his voice a low purr near her ear, she believed that she was strong. She believed that she could do this...
Feel your strength, Elise, Tegan coached her. There is no panic here, only calm. Your gift does not own you...you are in control. And so she was, she realized only now-- knowing that what Tegan was showing her was just a glimmer of the control she was capable of. He was opening a door in her subconscious, and wherever it was that her Breedmate gift originated within her, Tegan was guiding her inside that place, letting her see the power of her own potential.
It was a revelation. Her temples still pounded from the onslaught