Midlife Blues - Victoria Danann Page 0,28

comes before the court, Count Raif Nightingale, House of Howland Horn versus Queen Enya, House of Bryn-Eiwed.”

I watched closely as three figures came forward. The queen and Dzbog Bogdan, whom I recognized from the previous case, took their places at the defendant’s table while a second man came to a stop behind the plaintiff’s table.

I addressed the latter first.

“Count Nightingale, I presume?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“Are you expecting counsel or are you representing yourself?”

“Speaking for myself, Magistrate.”

He had the looks and manner of a player, right down to a sardonic smirk that seemed to be permanently frozen in place. Even his name spelled trouble. Raif just sounded way too similar to rake. Plus, coming before me without benefit of counsel also carried a suggestion of arrogance.

I turned to the other table.

“Mr. Bogdan. Back again, I see.”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“For the record, may the clerk record that you are representing Queen Enya?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

I settled my gaze on her and allowed it to linger for a few seconds. She raised her chin in a way that might have been considered snobbery, were it not for the slight smile that accompanied it.

“You and your client may sit, Mr. Bogdan.”

I turned to the plaintiff. “Mr., excuse me, Count Nightingale, please state your reason for bringing this suit, the damages you believe you sustained, and your suggestion for remedy.”

“Yes, Your Honor. Some time ago…”

“How long ago is ‘some time’?” I said. “In human years.”

“I can’t say exactly, Your Honor. Perhaps eight hundred years? It’s a guess.”

“Very well. Proceed.”

“I had a love affair with the queen when she was not yet queen. It ended amicably and we went our separate ways. As time passed, lovers came and went, and the encounter was no longer fresh in memory.”

He paused. I made a motion with my hand indicating that he should continue.

“A year and a half ago, I was desirous of a change to my hunting lodge near Inverness. An upgrade, I think you’d call it. I sent a messenger to Queen Enya to ask if she would do the work. Though I didn’t remember her, she hadn’t forgotten me. She cheerfully, shamelessly, accepted the commission while fully planning to act out some hysterical and misguided grievance.”

At that moment to my horror, my phone began loudly playing my ringtone. I’d slipped it into the pocket of my robe planning to look at texts when downtime presented itself. Since I received phone calls so rarely, I’d forgotten to set it on silent mode.

I fumbled through the folds of my robe for the pocket as the phone happily played, “You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record player, right round, round, round…”

While I was mortified, Keir was apparently enjoying himself immensely. He’d leaned over and put elbows on knees so that he could hide his face with his hands. He was laughing his ass off, even if it was silently. My frantic search for the phone finally produced the traitor device. I shut the phone off not even bothering to look at Caller ID, then turned the silence mode on and shot Keir a glare that he didn’t see. Again, too busy laughing.

After striking down an impulse to apologize, I decided the best course of action was to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary. Cool as James Bond, I forged ahead as if that hadn’t happened.

“I believe you were saying something about the defendant being hysterical?”

I glanced at the queen, whose demeanor expressed such a textbook picture of calm, it would be hard to imagine that she’d ever demonstrated an hysterical reaction to anything in the entirety of her long life. The glint in her eye told me she caught the point of incongruity I’d made, even if it went over the plaintiff’s head.

“Yes, Your Honor. I met with her to talk about the improvements I wanted and work out payment terms. She was quite pleasant and never indicated in any way that there was a problem between us. Of course, I thought she was beautiful, and my type, but I encounter a lot of beautiful females.”

“I’ll bet you do,” I said when he paused.

I noticed the queen pressed her lips together to keep from laughing out loud.

Nightingale looked thrown off balance by my comment, but to his credit, soldiered on.

“She added the requested rooms and did an adequate job.”

I noticed the Queen whisper something to Bogdan after which he rose and said, “Objection, Your Honor.”

“What is your objection, Mr. Bogdan?”

“The issue before this court is not the