Michael's Discovery - By Sherryl Woods Page 0,66

himself with Kelly. He wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly made the kind of cutting remarks he knew would hurt her. He wished he could blame the entire incident on her thin skin, rather than his own boneheaded behavior, but he couldn’t.

Maybe it was the fact that she’d implied he couldn’t do the hard work just when his ego was finally convinced it was past time to start pushing his limits. Maybe it was the whole sex thing and the uncomfortable issues it had stirred about the future.

The future. He sighed just thinking about it. He’d put off a visit to the navy doctors for weeks now, despite repeated reminders from the West Coast physicians that he was overdue to check in with the specialists they’d recommended. He couldn’t put an examination off forever, even if he didn’t want to hear the final, if inevitable, verdict that he’d never go back on active duty.

It was time now. Past time. Sucking it up like the supposedly brave man he was, he made an appointment with the navy doctors he’d been avoiding. He might be dreading it, but he needed an honest assessment of what the future might hold. He wasn’t expecting them to tell him anything the doctors in San Diego hadn’t said months ago, but he was still holding out hope for a miracle.

The examination was painstakingly thorough, the grim expressions pretty much what he’d expected. He could hang on to his job, as long as he was willing to settle for desk duty.

“I’m sorry,” the orthopedic surgeon told him. “I don’t see any way around it.”

“Not even with intensive physical therapy?” Michael asked, trying to keep a pleading note out of his voice. He’d come here knowing it was time to accept things. He needed to do it and stop fighting for something that could never be.

“Not even then,” the man said, removing all hope.

That night, Michael received a call from his commanding officer. “I heard the news,” Joe Voinovich told him. “I’m sorry as hell about this.”

“Me, too.”

“Are you going to take the job they’re offering in Washington?”

“No,” Michael said flatly. Whatever happened, he was staying in Boston. He’d find something to do eventually. And Kelly was here. Sooner or later he’d coax her to forgive him. Or find the courage to let her go and make some sort of future with a man who had his act together.

The incident at the rehab clinic hadn’t been mentioned since it had happened. In the days since, when the time had come for his therapy session, she’d been right on time, a phony smile firmly in place, her voice discernibly chillier than usual. He knew she deserved an apology, but so far he hadn’t been able to bring himself to utter one. He was still debating whether it was better to let the relationship die before it really got started.

Then he thought of the way it was between them, the heat and passion, the tenderness and thoughtfulness, and he wasn’t sure he could bear it if he lost her. Until he knew what was best, though, the distance between them was safe. In fact, he probably ought to assure that there would be even more distance. He’d let other women go. In fact, he’d made a habit of it. So why was it so difficult to get the words out now?

Maybe because he knew that as soon as he uttered them, he couldn’t take them back. He knew they would change everything, that Kelly had enough pride to make her walk away for good, certain that he’d used her and was tossing her aside now that she’d served her purpose.

And wasn’t that exactly what he was doing?

“No, dammit.” He uttered the words aloud without realizing it.

Kelly’s gaze shot toward him. It was one of the rare times lately when she’d looked him in the eye. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Talking to myself.”

She regarded him with a penetrating look. “What’s wrong?”

Now was the time. He owed her honesty. Hell, he owed her his life.

“There’s something we need to talk about,” he said.

Alarm flashed in her eyes, but she quickly glanced away. When she looked back, there was only mild curiosity in her expression. “Sure. What?”

He gestured toward a nearby workout bench. “Let’s sit a minute.” She followed him, her steps dragging ever so slightly. When they were seated, he forced himself to look directly into her eyes. “I think you know what a lifeline you’ve been for me,” he began. “You’ve been amazing.”

“But