policeman exchanged a few words with him and then said, ‘He asked why your mother demanded such a promise. I told him that she feared for you, and he said that the mastering of fear is the first step a child must take away from its mother and father. He said if you are able to master your fear, he could teach you to hear the song of this land.’
‘What do you want of me?’ I asked the policeman.
He sighed. ‘I did not know that Nullah would react as he did. I’ve never heard him talk this way before. To be honest, I wanted to see what you would make of his words, because he seems to see something in that park that I don’t, just as you do.’
‘You want me to go there,’ I said dully. ‘Perhaps I will disappear too. Then instead of solving one mystery, you will have another.’
‘I will come too,’ said the policeman. ‘I will let no harm come to you.’
‘How can you go there?’
‘I will go with you. I need to understand what it is that this park meant to your family – at least to you and your mother and sister. Maybe then I can work out what happened to Rose.’
4.
I went to the kitchen and bade the cook prepare food for a journey, while the policeman took Nullah to the train station. I ordered a maid to find the trunk of winter clothes we had brought with us. Mine were too small, but I took out a heavy gown and a cloak of Mama’s, as well as boots, muff and hat, weeping a little when I saw how well they fitted me. Upon his return, the inspector accepted one of the heavy coats that had belonged to my father, for Mama had kept these as well. How strange it was to see them inhabited again. I sat down to write a letter to my stepfather, explaining what I meant to do.
‘Love will lead me to Rose or to death,’ I wrote baldly, then I sent my love to my stepfather and signed my name, sealing the silky sheet of writing paper into an envelope upon which I wrote his name. I propped it alongside my stepfather’s pipe stand so that he would find it when he reached for the pipe before supper that evening. He would have to summon a maid to read it to him.
I felt numb with fear of what I meant to do, but I was resolved. Suddenly it seemed to me that my whole life had been shaped in order that I might enter the winter park. The policeman was not forcing me; he was merely an instrument of fate. I felt the heat of the day beating on my back as we crossed from the apartment to the line of ghost trees, but the cold from the winter park raked my bare cheeks.
‘Do you believe what Nullah said?’ I asked the inspector when we stood at the edge of the park. ‘Do you believe the park is not part of this land?’
‘I believe this will bring us to the place where your mother’s body was found,’ he said.
I followed him through the ghost trees and the moment we were on the other side of them, the heat and noise of the town was cut off and a thick, soft silence fell about me. I looked at the policeman, but his expression had not changed so I knew he did not feel the cold as I felt it. Indeed, his forehead shone with perspiration, for he had no need of the coat he wore.
I looked down and saw two sets of footprints in the snow, one belonging to an adult and the other to a child. They were as fresh as if Mama and Rose had just walked there, and yet the policeman did not look at them. He was clearly finding his way by memory. I turned my attention back to the footprints that progressed side by side into the winter park, and knew that Rose had not come in first after all, nor Mama. They had walked side by side, almost keeping pace, save for the additional skip Rose had made every few steps to keep up. My heart ached at the memory of the jerk she had given my hand whenever she had executed that little skip. And then we were entering a clearing. I stopped, seeing the unmistakeable imprint of Mama’s form.