“There’s a part coming up that I want to read for and Dobs didn’t think I was a good fit.”
“All that was to show you could play an obnoxious asshole? Are you serious?”
“Desperate times,” he winks.
“And you think those people will forgive you?”
“They already have. Every person I spoke to knows.”
“Knows what?”
“How seriously I take this.”
“Apparently I’m the last to know,” I say, pacing in front of him. I’m sputtering, angrier than I’ve ever been and he’s watching me without apology.
His low admission cuts through my racing thoughts. “This is how it will be if we go further, Mila.”
“I’m humiliated and irrational right now, this isn’t a good time to discuss this.”
He observes me carefully. “It’s the perfect time.”
A couple joins us on the terrace, and Lucas stops them, asking them to give us a moment before shutting one of the doors. They eye me over his shoulder and smile before disappearing back into the party.
“I won’t be typecast, Mila. I was trying to make a point. It was just a gag.”
“On me.”
“I warned you.”
“What if I don’t like it?”
“This is what I do, and if we go further, it’s going to affect you too.”
I jerk my thumb over my shoulder. “And that’s the way you decide to introduce me?”
“It’s the only way,” he says, with something like an apology in his eyes. “I want this, us, to work. It’s a large part of who I am. It won’t always be that intense, but sometimes it will be, and for extended periods of time, months, and I need you to be okay with that.”
“You just hurt me back there!” I whisper-yell, “embarrassed me. Used private things about me and twisted them for your fucking amusement.”
“It shouldn’t hurt you if you know what I’m doing.”
“How can you say that? How do I know that wasn’t what you’re really thinking?”
“Maybe I’m jealous of the way you grew up.”
That gives me pause. “Are you?”
He takes a drink of champagne and slides a hand in his slacks. “Maybe, a little.”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry for that. I really am, but in there, the way you demeaned my dreams, that hurt.”
“I draw from life. It’s a regular practice. Comedians do it too.”
“You’re not a comedian,” I huffed.
“I could be tomorrow,” he whispers, cornering me where I stand on the balcony. “You’ll get better at ignoring it.”
Shaking my head, I think about Laura’s reaction.
“You were cruel to her.”
“To Laura?” He shrugs. “She’s a dear friend, we love each other. She understands.”
“Not a great thing to hear since you’ve fucked her.”
“We did for a while, until we got bored. There’s nothing left there.”
“So, this is Hollywood? I can see why my mother kept me away.”
“As much as it rips me to say it, there are plenty of guys out there that can give you something more along the lines of normal.”
I gawk at him. “You just told me you loved me, now you’re giving me an out?”
“Yes,” he whispers softly. “Because you need to know what you’re dealing with. Because if you decide you’re in,” he crowds me further, his breath hitting my lips, “I’m keeping you in. I can’t picture a future without you, Mila. I don’t want to. But it’s going to take a shitload of work to keep us solid. We have to be in this together. And I mean in it. We can make some rules, but this is my life.”
“This is insane.”
“This is show biz. The schedule is hell, I haven’t stopped working since I was twenty, if I’m honest, eight. I rarely think about much more than my next project. I get utterly absorbed, I lose myself completely at times, and when I do, half the time I can’t tell you what day it is and not much else matters but the role I’m playing. But the good is there for you to see and I hope you do because I do love you. You’re the perfect distraction from this madness, you’re what I look forward to, and I want this, you, so much.”
This is so not how I saw this party going. “I don’t know what to think.”
He lets out a long breath. “Loving me back will take a huge amount of patience.”
“I already love you back,” I snap with a wobbling chin, “and you dropped a bomb on it.”
True remorse shines in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Dame. You’re the only woman I’ve ever known or wanted that can hold me