“No, but he might as well have. He was a bastard best left to bed his co-stars and not put silly notions in my head. Maybe we should sit, Mila, you’re so pale.”
“I’m pregnant,” I say, depriving her of what should have been a happy moment. She bursts into tears, and I walk over to her and hug her tightly. “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m sorry. I’m just so miserable right now. I miss Lucas so much. I’m so pissed at him. I should have faked a happy phone call or something.”
“I ruined your wedding,” she sniffs, “it’s only fair.”
“You didn’t ruin it, Mom. Everyone thought you were making a spectacle because you were happy. I still laugh about it and the way Lucas squirmed.”
“I’m sorry for that.”
“It’s inexcusable, but I understand why you were scared. We’d only been dating nine months. I was scared myself.”
When we pulled away, she smiled. “I hope it’s a boy. We could use a boy.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I pour the water into the teacups to let them steep.
“Your turn,” she says, nodding in my direction. “Tell me what happened.”
For the first time in years, I spare no detail. I don’t see the point in hiding anything from her. I will probably regret it later, but for the moment, I trust my instinct to spill. It takes the better part of an hour for me to explain the last three months and the more I do, the angrier I get.
“Wow,” my mother says with wide eyes when I finish.
“I know.”
“I’m impressed,” she says with the lift of her lips. “You have to admit, it’s clever.”
“And insane and deceptive. I don’t know why he would hide it from me.”
For the first time since I started my rant, I study her while she sips her cold tea.
“It’s grief, and grief is another form of insanity in itself. You haven’t really gotten to experience that yet, and I pray it comes much later for you. You two will be fine. You need to go back to him.”
“I can’t. I’m too angry. Trust me, I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
“Haven’t you heard a word I said? He’s unreachable,” I say, pacing. “He’s acting like we should resume life as it was without acknowledging what he just put us both through. He’s still acting, and unless he drops the mask, we can’t get past it.”
“He’s not ready. He still needs his wife.”
“You know, Mom, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now.”
“By all means.”
“You meddle and give unsolicited advice like you’re doing everyone a damned favor. You’ve given my husband hell for years and warned me away from being with him. I’m finally showing you our cracks but fully expected you to gloat. What does that tell you?”
She doesn’t even flinch as her eyes hold mine over the side of her teacup. “That you’re angry enough at him to share with me.”
“Maybe,” I say. “But if you want in, don’t make me regret this.”
“I don’t stray from being honest, Mila.”
“God forbid you don’t alienate someone for the sake of your precious honesty.”
“Hey apple,” she says in her thick French tongue. “You didn’t fall far from this tree. It’s one of the things Lucas loves most about you because he told me so. I know what he did to me at your house came from a place of pain, but there was some truth behind it. I ask intrusive questions because I want to know you, the both of you, and it’s like since the day I met him, he’s had some preconceived notion about me.”
I cast my eyes down because it’s the truth. I had Lucas fearing my mother long before she met him.
“And maybe you were right to warn him,” she says, reading my guilt. “I didn’t make it easy on him, I know that. But you’re my only child, and I want what’s best for you. I see my mistakes, and I’m willing to admit them. I’m even willing to apologize to your husband once he comes ready with his. I might not know the day-to-day of your life with him, but I watch you two. The whole world is watching, and I along with them. I read his interviews and the way he speaks so highly of you. I see the way he looks at you and vice versa. That man loves you better than any other man could, movie star or not.”
I sob into my palms, shaking my head. “Of course, you would give