Mess Us Up – Jaxson Kidman Page 0,17
the bedroom too.
The routine of everything is starting to get the best of me.
So this time I go to the front door.
I look behind me and smile as I open the door.
I step outside onto the porch and my heart starts to race.
It’s almost like I expect to see police and detectives and helicopters looking for me.
Which isn’t the case at all.
There isn’t a single person in sight.
Mama Dae has a well-hidden house and property.
I walk to the railing and lean forward. There’s a part of me that wants to be seen. I wonder what would happen if…
The door opens and my muscles tighten.
When I turn and see Mac looking at me, I shake my head.
“Hey,” he says.
“Not now, Mac. I can’t take much more.”
“I don’t think that’s an option,” he says.
“You look roughed up,” I say.
“Rough day. Things went bad.”
“Bad?”
Mac sits down in a chair and points to the one next to him.
“Sit down, sweetie,” he says.
I step back and sit down.
Mac leans forward and lights a cigarette.
He runs a hand through his hair.
When he looks at me, he smiles. “You know, I think about you all day long, Jolie. I can’t get you out of my mind. Even now when I smoke a cigarette, I think about you. I picture you standing there with the unlit cigarette between your lips. Wanting to smoke it. And then knowing you’ve never had a cigarette before. I don’t know. There’s just something about it all.”
“I think about you too,” I say. “All the time. You know that though. I just want to be with you, Mac. I can understand your life. I can find a way to be part of it. But this…”
“Just let me say something quick,” he says. “Before I lose the thought. Before I avoid stepping into this bullshit darkness.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning you were right,” Mac says.
“About?”
He looks down. “I think something’s wrong with Mama.”
Oh, believe me, I want to jump out of the chair and do a stupid dance and scream in Mac’s face that I was right and he was wrong.
But I know that won’t do a thing.
It’ll only hurt him. And anger him.
So I sit in silence.
I stare at him.
He slowly looks at me.
His eyes look glossy.
I can’t tell if he’s about to cry…
I hurry from the chair and grab for him.
His cigarette smoke dances around me.
I’m used to it by now.
“Mac… talk to me…”
“Taz and I should be dead right now, sweetie,” he says.
“What?”
I break away from him.
Mac nods. “That was dicey. That was as scary as it can get. Taz is a wild man though. He went for a fight and got one. So I jumped in too. That was the only way to save ourselves. They had guns.”
“Guns,” I say.
“We had guns too, sweetie. But it was four against two.”
My stomach felt sick.
Really sick.
I stand and lean against the railing.
Mac stands up too.
Towering over me.
“But this isn’t something easy,” he says. “I have to figure this out.”
“How did this happen?”
“She had the wrong time again,” Mac says. “We were supposed to see something happening. To get some answers. Instead, we were early. We were just standing there like fucking targets. Taz even got clipped by a bullet.”
“What?” I yell.
“He’s fine. Just skin. It could have been much worse.”
“Mac…”
“Jolie, just listen to me. I appreciate all you’ve said and done with this.” He moves toward me. He flicks his cigarette off the porch. “You were right about it. Something is going on. What is it? I don’t know. I can’t just say something to her either. I’m going to have to get things in order. You’ve seen it. Les has seen it. Taz has seen it. I have too.”
“She can’t keep doing this,” I say. “She’s going to get you killed.”
“I’ll be more careful,” Mac says. “I’m not going to take her information to heart. I’ll do my own digging around, okay? We have to keep going. I need you to be safe.”
“I can’t be safe if you’re dead,” I yell.
Mac touches my face.
He nods.
He knows this.
He knows all of it.
And I’m not dumb either.
This isn’t just a simple conversation. Even in normal circumstances it wouldn’t be. How in the world do you tell someone like Mama Dae that she’s acting differently? More so, Mama Dae knows it too. She’s just trying to hide it. Keep it away from everyone. Only now it’s getting everyone into trouble.
My mind is racing.
Mac kisses me and puts his forehead to mine.
“I can’t lose you, Mac,” I whisper.