a hand. She wound her fingers in his and climbed into bed beside him.
“Were you outside?” he mumbled against the side of her neck. “You’re cold.”
“Aye.” She closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy his lips on her skin a moment more, but the longer she waited, the more bitter the words would be. She forced them out. “I know you can’t leave with us.”
He went still, fingertips pressing against her ribs.
“No,” he admitted, “I can’t.”
It was one thing for the bastard of an unknown father to roam Sabor at her side.
It was wholly different for the king’s bastard to do it.
“It’s only while Rhusana is still in power.” He pushed himself up to look her in the eye. “She’d use me against Jas the first chance she got. Mother would murder me if I set foot outside Trikovoi with anything less than a company of mammoth riders, and she’d be right to do it.” His hand slid along her cheek. “Once the queen is gone, I … I’ll find you. I don’t care how far you are or how long it takes, I swear I’ll find you again.”
Fie closed her eyes. “Aye, and that could be one moon from now. Or it could be the rest of your life.”
Tavin wove his fingers through hers once more and kissed them. “The girl I love said they’re all short lives. So I won’t make her wait long either way.”
Fie wanted to fight, even with naught to win. She wanted to hear him call her the girl he loved again. She wanted to burn every Sparrow tooth she had to keep him with her, hidden at her side as they roamed from beacon to beacon, season after season.
But long ago he’d said he would not live as a ghost.
And she’d known this would never be easy.
They were all short lives. She’d just wanted to spend more of hers with him.
She’d just wanted more time. And for now, they only had until the dead gods’ mercy called her onward.
The dead gods hadn’t called her to the roads yet. Until they did, she would have that much of what she wanted.
Fie drew her Hawk to her once more.
* * *
On the seventh dawn of Crow Moon, a trail of crimson smoke scratched the horizon, and Fie knew her time had come.
The Crows gathered at the fortress’s main gate, adjusting the straps of new sandals and checking the hold of the new cart while their new chief said her goodbyes.
Jasimir moved first, shuffling over with a thick scroll of parchment and charcoal sticks. “Here. Practice your letters. And write to me.”
“Is that a royal command?” she asked, unable to stuff down a grin.
“Write to me, please,” he amended. “And to Tav. He’s already started pining and you haven’t even left yet.”
“I don’t think ‘Dear Jas and Tavin, today we only had to avoid twenty Oleanders trying to murder us’ will cheer him up.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re not going alone.” He nodded to the supply wagon waiting beside the Crow’s new cart, where Corporal Lakima and her five Hawks waited.
Fie couldn’t say whether six Hawks could stop the Oleander Gentry in their tracks, but they were a sore good start.
Jasimir gripped her shoulder. “Don’t die,” he said, and only half of his tone said it was a jest. “I’m keeping the oath. You’re not allowed to die until you’ve seen it for yourself.”
Half of her grin said she believed him. “I’ll try. So far I’ve been fair good at it.”
“That makes two of us. But I think Tav’s about to commit an act of treason if I keep you any longer.”
Fie looked behind her. Sure enough, Tavin had gone fidgety, scowling at the road ahead. Coming from him, that was nigh a death threat.
She gave Jasimir a whole grin this time, then went to her Hawk.
“Do you want your sword back?” she asked him, reaching to unbuckle the scabbard from her belt.
He opened his mouth, shut it again, and, without a word, pulled her into a long, hard kiss. Madcap whooped somewhere at her back; Fie managed a rude gesture in reply before returning to more pressing business.
When they finally broke apart, he stayed near, cradling her face in his hands. “Please, please be safe.”
“You just made a fair case for staying in one piece,” Fie informed him. “But you should probably boot Rhusana fast anyway. Barf’s bound to miss you.”
That nudged a soft laugh out of him. “Only the cat?”