Mercenary (Gangsters of New York #3) - Bella Di Corte Page 0,86
with mamma and Anna.
“Like me,” Anna said, peeking over my shoulder. “She is exactly like me.”
The three of us hovered around her door, watching Corrado hold her while she slept. She had a bed in our room, but sometimes he brought her to her room to rock her to sleep after her bath.
“What is it about that kind of man holding a baby that is so sexy?” Anna whispered.
I grinned. “It is.”
Mamma pinched Anna and she laughed quietly. “It is, mamma!”
“I am not disagreeing, but don’t give her—” she nodded at me “—any ideas. She has to give Ele some time to be the baby. Look at her. She’s bedazzled.”
Anna and I looked at each other and started laughing, trying to keep our voices down.
“Mamma mia!” Anna shook her head. “It’s dazzled. Not bedazzled.”
“What is the difference, smarty pants?”
“Dazzled is when you are bewitched. Bedazzled is what you do to clothes.” Anna started to walk toward the stairs. “Who is up for cards tonight? Since the hot man has the adorable baby.”
At home, sometimes we would stay up all night and play cards. We would put on a pot of coffee and some music, eat sweets, and laugh. Sometimes Anna and I would play with a few cousins, and mamma would sit and listen to us while she crocheted.
“You need a dictionary, Anna,” mamma said, kissing me on the cheek. “Bedazzled is correct.” Then she waved her hand. “I’m tired. We can play tomorrow.”
“Same for me,” I said.
Anna touched her nose and then pulled her finger away, like her nose was growing. “Bugiarda,” she mouthed at me. Liar. “There are so many people in this castello, I am sure I can make some easy money. They won’t see me coming. I’m so sweet looking.”
Corrado looked at me when I opened the door the entire way and shut it behind me. Ele’s head was against his chest, her mouth open. I ran my hand through her hair, the little she had of it.
“I bedazzle you,” he said, meeting my eye when I stood after kissing her delicious cheek.
I smiled. “Since the moment I saw you.”
He touched his nose and then pulled his finger away, doing the exact thing Anna had done.
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you calling me a bugiarda, too?”
He shrugged. “You’re happier now.”
“Ele’s here—”
He shook his head. “You’ve always been happy about Eleonora. You haven’t been happy with me.”
It was the first time he brought it up since we got to New York, and my heart swelled. He was in that space and time where he could feel the distance. He wanted to bridge the gap.
“Not with you,” I whispered.
He kissed Ele on her head and took her over to her bed, laying her down. He took the chair again and touched his leg. I curled up in his embrace and took a deep, deep, breath. It felt as if I had been holding my breath, waiting for this moment. I could finally breathe again.
It had been wonderful having Ele. Our time was spent surrounding her, enjoying her, loving her. But this was what I had needed from him, one lover to another.
“I love you more than life, Corrado,” I whispered. “But I get lonely.”
“You’ve been spending time with some of the wives.”
I tried. I couldn’t. They were different. They talked about shopping, and cars, and places to go for spa days. Our conversations had no real substance, or any real depth, or any true feeling—when they laughed, it wasn’t true.
I was thankful for Mari. She had called me a few times, and I had called her. She even invited me to girl’s nights with the Fausti wives, but I didn’t go.
Corrado did not like Rocco, and that was a problem. If things got tense between them…I did not want to think about what would happen. It wasn’t worth the trouble. And then Mari and Amadeo had gone back to Modica for a while. We made plans to connect when they returned.
So it had been rough until mamma and Anna arrived. But.
“I still feel alone,” I said. “This house.” I looked up at him. “It has everything, but nothing. It’s not warm. There’s hardly any laughter. It feels like a prison.”
“You traded one for another.”
“No,” I said. “You freed me, but without you here most of the time, nothing ever feels like enough. There’s excess all around me, but not the kind that matters.”