Meet Me at Midnight - Jessica Pennington Page 0,86
was completely derailed? Has Dad already secured that position for me? Is the letter really just a formality, something to make me feel like I got it on my own? Sidney is looking at me like she can read my thoughts.
“What?” I ask.
“I don’t know, that’s just all I can picture you doing.” She shrugs. “If I think of you in ten years, it’s by a pool.”
“You think about me a lot?”
She buries her head into her arm and mumbles. “Whatever.”
“Am I always in my suit?”
Sidney laughs and I can feel the vibration through the raft. Her head pops up again. “Hate to break it to you, but coaches don’t walk around deck in their Speedos.”
“I bet I do, in your fantasies.”
“So about Nadine.” She’s looking off into the distance, trying to be casual. “How do you feel about utilizing Saran Wrap on fish, instead of paper?”
She’s just trying to change the subject, so I do it for her. “My dad has a college-long apprenticeship set up for me.” It feels like the words came out of my mouth against my will, but once they’re out it feels right. Like I should have said it a long time ago.
“And you’re…” Sid spreads one hand out in front of her and I can almost see the invisible line there, waiting to be filled in.
“Indifferent?” I shrug. “Annoyed?”
She nods and looks past me toward the riverbank, like she’s searching for something there. “What did you want to be when you were younger? You know, when people asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Before you were old enough for them to be all judgy about it.”
“A swimmer. Michael Phelps, specifically.”
“Even when you were little?”
“As long as I can remember.”
She doesn’t say anything, just looks at that space over my shoulder again, like she’s not sure what to say.
“It’s not really a practical career, though.” I can almost hear my dad’s voice in mine. “It’s the kind of thing you do on the side. You know, nights and weekends at some high school or club team.”
“I mean, it’s not an actual college major, like that’s your only option when you graduate. It’s just an end goal. You get a degree in something else.” She shrugs. “Education, maybe? You’d be a great teacher … Or there’s business administration … sports administration. The grad student who helped my high school team was studying sports psychology.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to be a counselor?” I tease.
“Positive.” Sidney is smiling, and it’s the new normal. Everything seems to make her smile; it makes me wonder how hard she had to work to keep that from me every summer.
When our feet finally hit the rocky bottom again, we hoist ourselves back onto the rainbow-colored float, our bodies side by side, our feet dangling off the edge. Sidney’s head rests on my bicep, and our sides are pressed up against each other.
Just as I’m contemplating whether we could make out as we float, a group of canoes cuts through the water next to us. It feels like we’re alone out here, but we’re definitely not. So instead, I just think about dead puppy dogs and fish rotting under my bed, and definitely not Sidney lying right next to me in her bikini. And when I get back to my room hours later, I lay on my bed and stare at my phone as a list of careers that are not what my dad wants fills my screen. There’s no harm in just looking.
Sidney
After being so close to Asher for three hours, it feels weird to be a room apart. I look at the bathroom door, imagining him on the other side, then look at my bedroom door, and wonder what’s on the other side. Could he be out in the living room, hoping I’ll come out, too? It’s a long shot that he’s as amped up to see me as I am him, but I slide off of my bed in my pajamas and take a chance anyway. I’m careful to open my door quietly, and to not look too eager when I emerge from the hallway, just in case the parents are still up. But the living room is empty and quiet and dark. I look down the hallway, all of the doorways dark.
Inside my room, I open my bathroom door and push through to find that Asher’s side is wide open. Interesting. I take a deep breath and walk across my room