Meet Me at Midnight - Jessica Pennington Page 0,109

She shrugs. “I knew he liked you. And I knew it was a crappy thing to do, but not until after…”

“You didn’t exactly force him.”

Lindsay laughs. “What fourteen-year-old guy is going to stop a girl from kissing him?”

Asher. I had thought Asher would. But she’s right, how stupid was that? He and I weren’t even together.

It’s hard to blame Lindsay. She feels bad for kissing Asher because she knew I liked him. She thought he liked me. But I knew she liked him, too. And I wouldn’t have felt bad if I had kissed him. I just didn’t have the guts to do it like she did. Maybe that’s what I’ve really been mad about all of these years: that she had the guts to do something I didn’t. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry my mom kicked you guys out. I know she’s a total whack job sometimes but…” Lindsay looks to the house like she’s checking for Nadine to be lurking at a window. “It’s been a rough year or two. My parents split, and my mom’s in the house by herself, and honestly, she’s never wanted renters here. My dad wanted to rent the houses.” She stubs her toe into the grass. “I think kicking you guys out was just a big ‘eff you’ to my dad.” She gives me a sad smile. “Sorry you guys got caught in the middle of it.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

She glances at the house again. “I should probably be more upset, but honestly … some people just aren’t meant to be together.”

Lindsay and I pick forks out of the yard for another hour, making small talk about her first year at college, but none of it can distract me from the words that won’t leave my head: some people just aren’t meant to be together. People like Asher and me. We’re not doomed because he’s out to get me, we’re doomed because he was right last night: down the road I’d screw this up somehow. At least now it’s done with, before things go too far, before we hurt our families or each other more than we already have. But if it’s the right decision, then why does it still hurt so much?

DAY 52

Asher

I’m probably not in the right mind-set to talk to my dad, but I’m in a screw it, there’s nothing left to lose kind of mood, so I’m going to run with it. He’s by the picnic table in the yard, spreading newspapers and trash bags out so he can clean the fish he caught this morning with Tom. After what has been dubbed the fish incident, Mom hasn’t let him anywhere near the kitchen with fish this summer.

He’s hauling his cooler from the ground up onto the gray bench, when I stand across from him.

“Come to help?”

“Can’t. Traumatized.” I hold my hands up in the air. “I may never eat fish again. I was hoping we could talk for a minute before you start slicing and dicing?” I take a seat on the long gray bench.

Dad sits down next to his cooler and when he looks at me, his whole face changes. Something like fear and panic wash over him in an instant. “Oh god.” He looks up at the house and back to me. “You’re not. I mean, Sidney’s not. She’s not pregnant or something, is she?”

“She’s not—what?” I try to physically shake away the confusion and shock that has slapped me in the face. “What are you talking about?”

Dad is visibly relieved. “I’m sorry, I just—the way that you looked. I thought this was something big. Something bad.”

“And your first thought was that I knocked up Sidney?”

Dad winces. “This isn’t my finest parenting moment.”

“You knew we were together, though?” I wince. “Dating together, not accidental-pregnancy together,” I clarify.

“I know. We know.” Dad glances up at the house again. “Your mom thinks it’s adorable you think we don’t. Maybe don’t tell her about this little freakout, okay? Not unless you want to go back to an open-door policy around the house.”

“We broke up last night, so that won’t be a problem.”

When my dad is disturbed by something—really disturbed—he has a very specific look. His eyebrows collapse into sharp mountains, and his mouth twists up. He shakes his head three times. No more, no less. “I’m sorry to hear that. I really thought this was the year things turned around for good.”

“Me, too.”

“You want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “Not now. Maybe some other time.” I give