Up to Me - By M. Leighton Page 0,49

of the same...characteristics I like in a man is the exact same kind of guy. It's possible to be a fun-loving person, but still be good and decent and kind."

"I'm sure it is. But you never seem to find that kind."

"I admit that I've not had great success in the past, but this guy is different, Mom. I can feel it."

"Are you saying you've never 'felt it' before? Because I specifically remember us having a similar conversation about at least two of your previous causes."

"They weren't 'causes,' Mom."

Arguing with her is exhausting.

"You called one of them a 'fixer upper.' What is that if not a cause? You want to fix these bad boys, Olivia. You want to change them, make them into something you can live with. But that's never going to happen. Boys like that don't ever change. And certainly not for a girl."

"Some of them can."

"I'll believe that when I see it. When one of them proves his love to you, I'll never argue the point again. But until then..."

Until them, I'm just the dumbass that keeps falling in the same trap, over and over and over again.

"Do me one favor," she says, reaching across the island to lay her hand on mine, a very rare show of affection and support.

"What's that?"

"Take my car. Go to school. Prove to me that you're strong enough to do this, strong enough to take on this kind of man and not buckle. Not give in and let him ruin your life. It would make me feel so much better."

Her expression is actually sincere. Maybe even a little worried and desperate. Does she seriously think that I'm so fragile and impressionable that I'll follow any ol' loser right over the cliff?

If I can do this one thing to prove to her I'm not the weakling she thinks I am, then why not? Maybe it would help things between us, and between her and Cash when she meets him.

When she meets him, I repeat in my head, hanging on to the thought that such a day will come.

"Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay. I'll take your car. I'll prove to you that I'm stronger than what you think. That I'm smarter than what you think."

She smiles, but it's more satisfied and smug than pleased and proud. It reminds me that, no matter what I do, there's probably little chance of ever pleasing her. Yet I feel compelled to try.

"I won't even fuss about what you're wearing, but I do want you to turn your shirt right side out first."

"I will. Give me a few minutes. I need to brush my teeth and clean up a little better."

"That's fine. I'll get you the keys and you can leave whenever you want."

I nod and smile, trying not to think about how furious Gavin will be when he finds out I ditched him. It's not like it's a big deal, though. I mean, I'll be at school, surrounded by hundreds of witnesses. The only way I could be any safer is if I was hiding a ninja bodyguard up my butt.

Mom brings me the keys then turns to the toaster and a bag of wheat bread lying to its left. Without so much as a word to me, she starts making toast, the same thing she's had for breakfast every day for the last thousand years.

Quietly, I slip off the stool and make my way back upstairs. Sometimes I wonder why I even care what she thinks.

I pause on the steps when I realize that what I'm doing has very little to do with what Mom thinks of me, or changing it. Things have been this way between us for years. No, this has everything to do with her trusting my judgment enough to see that Cash is a good guy, that I've finally found someone that's worthy in her eyes. I want her to see that. Not for my sake, but for Cash's. He doesn't deserve her bias. It has nothing to do with him and everything to do with my mistakes, her mistakes and her inability to forgive or forget either.

My determination grows with my epiphany. Yes, I'll do this. And I'll show her that finding and dating Mr. Wrongs doesn't mean I'm incapable of finding Mr. Right. It simply means that I've had