my fingers rubbing at her clit. It was overload, too much all at once, but it was exactly what she needed—what I needed.
I hadn’t realized how frustrated I was, not until this moment. Not until her pussy clamped down on me, pulsating in time with her orgasm and milking my own out of me. I ground my teeth together, feeling every part of her against me, and for once, I wished it wouldn’t be a one-time thing.
But rules were rules. And this was mine.
No commitments. No second times. No repeats.
One and done.
It was easier that way. Easier for the kids. But mainly, it was easier on me.
CHAPTER 7
LUNA
I told myself that I hadn’t gotten to college early today for any particular reason, but it was undeniable when my feet carried me to the bench on the pathway that I knew Mateo would pull into.
I hadn’t seen him for three days. Not since I’d left his apartment.
His SUV hadn’t been in the parking lot.
Cardo and Chiara were nowhere to be found.
It was like they’d disappeared with a click of the fingers. Part of me was worried, but when I saw the moving truck outside the apartment this morning, I knew they were completely gone. He’d taken what he wanted, and now…now he’d left me all alone.
I should have known better. I should have known someone wouldn’t stick around. Why would they? I was a product of the people who made me. That was what everyone thought anyway. It didn’t matter that they were wrong. It didn’t matter that I was always the one left behind to fend for myself. I was the forgotten thought. The one they knew would survive without them.
But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to survive. I wanted to live.
And inside Mateo’s room while his body was against mine, I’d finally felt like I was living. Now he’d taken that away. He’d stolen my breath. He’d snatched a part of me, and I needed it back.
I needed him back.
I needed his skin touching me.
I needed his lips pressed against mine.
My hand lifted, my fingers trailing over my bottom lip as I remembered how soft his lips were. I closed my eyes, swearing I could feel his hand clasped on my waist, and the way he’d pressed his chest against mine, almost as if he couldn’t get close enough.
My alarm going off on my cell caused my eyes to snap open. It was time for class and he still hadn’t turned up. It was the same day as last week when I’d seen Mateo and Aida on this very pathway, so I knew she would be in today.
He was avoiding me. It was clear as day.
I spun around, gritting my teeth at my stupidity. Did I really think it was the start of something special? I was being naive. I’d lived a life most people hadn’t, but when it came to matters of the heart, I was a juvenile. I hadn’t been around love that hadn’t been corrupted, so what made me think I would be now?
It was a lesson. A lesson I would learn from. A lesson I wouldn’t repeat twice.
My feet slapped against the ground, each one echoing louder and louder as my thoughts ran rampant. I already had enough happening in my life, and now this was taking up brain space that was needed elsewhere.
I breathed deep, closing my eyes for a millisecond, trying to get ahold of myself. I couldn’t go into class like this: distracted. I needed to focus my full attention on the work because without keeping my GPA up, I’d lose my scholarship, and right then, it was the only thing keeping me going each day.
The tinted doors to the building reflected back at me when I opened my eyes. I hated what I saw. I hated the pale face and messy hair staring back at me. I hated my wide hips and short legs. I hated how my eyes betrayed how I was feeling when they changed color.
I hated myself.
I hated everything around me.
I hated that I wanted to be wanted.
I hated how Mateo had sparked me to life and now I was a dying ember.
My shaking hand reached for the metal handle on the door. The coolness of it seeped through my palm, making me shiver. At least I was feeling something.
I yanked the door open, pushed my shoulders back, and darted inside. I had three minutes to make it to class, so I flipped open my bag