you doing?” I hurried over to help her out of the water.
“Go away! Pretend you didn’t see me!” she yelled, flailing her arms in the water. “Imagine this isn’t happening right now! Please, I’m begging you.”
I couldn’t tell if she was drowning or just really upset. But I wasn’t going to walk away in case it was the prior. “Did you just throw yourself in the lake to avoid me?”
“No.” Her teeth chattered. “That would be crazy.”
Her point? “Let me help you.” I put my hand out.
“Please, Matt, just let me drown in my misery.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you’re out of that water.”
“I’m not actually drowning! I’m just swimming recreationally.” She continued to tread water. “See.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to swim in there.”
“I know that.” She looked up at the sky like she was hoping a lightning bolt would come down and just end everything.
“Then what are you doing?” I asked.
“Fine! I admit it! I was trying to avoid you. So please walk away before either of us gets hurt.”
I laughed. “Let me help you out.”
She stared at me like she couldn’t believe I was still standing there. “You’re not going to do the gentlemanly thing and walk away because I asked you to?”
“No. I’m not.”
“Men.” She sighed so loudly that she scared a duck swimming by. It squawked angrily. “Fine. But only because I’m a little scared of birds. Only slightly. It’s not on my list or anything.” Ash swam over to me, avoiding the angry duck, and took my hand.
I pulled her out and her body collided against mine. She was wet from head to toe. She’d clearly dove headfirst in the lake just to avoid walking past me. And she was shivering.
But instead of letting me run my hands up and down her arms, she pulled back. “I am so so beyond sorry, Matt.”
“My dick is fine.”
“Yeah, that. But also…” she waved her hand in front of me.
I looked down. She’d gotten the front of my hoody all wet and…a little slimy. “It’s fine,” I said. “Seriously, why did you throw yourself into the lake to avoid me?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe because I was half an hour late for our date, flashed you in the bathroom, and then set your dick on fire!”
People had been already staring at us as soon as I found her in the water. Now they weren’t even trying to pretend they weren’t staring.
“So that wasn’t a normal date for you?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“God, you were supposed to just keep walking. Not find me and pull me out of the lake. Why would you even look in there? It was such a good hiding spot. I have to go.” She turned around.
I grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, Ash. Bad dates happen.”
“It wasn’t a bad date. It was mortifying.” She pulled her hand out of mine. “And in this huge city what are the odds that I’d run into you again? One in a million? Don’t answer that. And if you ever do see me again and then you suddenly don’t…just keep walking. Because it means I’m hiding to avoid you. So do the respectable thing and just keep walking. Because I can’t relive that date ever again. My best friend already tortures me enough about it. She called me inferno dick for a whole week. Inferno dick. Like I make a habit of setting people’s privates on fire. It happened one time! One time,” she yelled to one of the people watching us.
The guy that had been staring quickly walked away.
“See.” She pointed to the stranger. “People are literally terrified of me because of that nickname.” A drop of something green and slimy fell from her arm. “What is that?! I have to go to the doctor! No, I hate doctors. But what if I just contracted something in that dirty city water? Gah, I have to! What the hell is my life?!” She ran away before I could get another word in.
“Don’t jump in any more lakes because of me!” I yelled after her.
“Then don’t make eye contact with me ever again!” she yelled back before sprinting over the little bridge, leaving a trail of wet footprints behind her.
She really was adorable. And a little crazy. And definitely not a sign from Brooklyn. Besides, I didn’t feel drawn to her. Not the same way I felt drawn to Kennedy. I sighed. I was going to hell.