to eat here all the time when Brooklyn and I had dated. Mrs. Alcaraz was the only woman I knew whose cooking rivaled my mom’s.
Kennedy walked me to the door. “Thanks for tonight. It was nice seeing a friendly face in this city.”
“Any time.” My eyes wandered to her lips. I have no fucking idea why.
“Matt?”
My eyes lifted back to hers.
“Give me your phone.”
I didn’t ask why she wanted it. But I handed my phone to her without protest.
She typed something in and handed it back to me. “You can text me when you’re missing her. I bet I’ll be missing her too.” She shrugged. “Two lost souls in this crazy city could maybe feel a little less alone with a friend.”
A friend. Right. I shoved my phone into my pocket. I believed that two lost souls could feel a little less alone together. In one way or another.
“You deserve to be happy,” she said.
“So do you,” I said.
She smiled up at me. “How is it that you look almost the same after all these years?”
“How is it that you look even more beautiful?” I shouldn’t have said it. I was used to flirting. But flirting with my dead fiancée’s best friend? Definitely off-limits.
“You know what? Hold on one sec.” She left me alone standing at the door for only a minute. “It’s vacant right now. And my mom still had this.” She placed a key into my palm.
I looked over my shoulder at Brooklyn’s old apartment. I couldn’t even imagine going in there.
“It was the first thing I did when I got back. I think being in there gave me a little closure.”
I doubted it would do that for me. But I closed my hand around the key anyway.
She leaned forward to hug me. It took me by surprise, but as soon as her arms were wrapped around me, I sighed. I took a deep breath. Home. God, I wanted to just hold her right here forever.
But she pulled back. “Goodnight, Matt.”
“Goodnight, Kennedy.”
She closed the door and I turned around and faced the door to Brooklyn’s apartment. My mind screamed at me not to go in. But my feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they approached the door. And my hand as it unlocked it.
The door creaked opened and I stared at the empty kitchen. The whole place seemed so small. I stepped inside, picturing Uncle Jim’s warm smile. And Brooklyn’s big blue eyes. This place was filled with ghosts. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I made my way into the small living room. It used to feel so full of love and laughter. And now it just felt…empty. I stopped outside Brooklyn’s bedroom door, leaning against the doorjamb.
We’d fought in here. She’d threatened to push me off the fire escape when she was mad. And she promised to love me forever right there.
My knees must have given out, because I was somehow sitting where her bed used to be. I’d held her right here when she’d cried. I held her in my arms, hoping she’d feel whole again when she lost her uncle.
I promised her forever. Forever wasn’t supposed to be only for a few months. This wasn’t supposed to be what happened to us. She should have been here with me.
My fingers fumbled, pulling my phone out of my pocket. And I texted the one person who would understand. Not my high school friends. Not Tanner. “I don’t want to feel alone,” I texted.
Kennedy’s response came almost immediately. “Are you still in her apartment?”
I didn’t have time to respond before I heard the door creak. She was limping slightly, but she still showed up. She sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder, just like she always did when we visited Brooklyn’s grave. And she didn’t say a word when I cried. And I didn’t say a word when I heard her sniffling either.
Her right hand was resting on her thigh. I reached out, lacing her fingers with mine. How had I been surviving without her? She’d been my rock after Brooklyn died. I looked down at her tear-stained face. I’d asked Brooklyn to send me a sign. Kennedy was it. I knew it. She had to be. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, the smell of home surrounding me. I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do with this sign.
Chapter 28
Wednesday
The light streaming into my room made me close my eyes