Marry Me for Real, Cowboy - Valerie Comer Page 0,55

blame you. It’s just hard to let my dream go, you know? It’s been my only goal for fifteen years.”

The words were on the tip of her tongue. Marry me for real, Adam. But if he didn’t even consider it a possibility, she couldn’t throw herself at him. Been there, done that, got the engagement ring and all the fake promises a girl could want. No, he’d been decisive that night. He knew what he wanted and had figured out a way to get it.

If only he’d be as decisive now.

He turned into the church parking lot, found a spot, and cut the engine before turning to look at her. “Ready?”

“Sure.” But she’d never felt less Christmassy in her life.

It might be Christmas morning, but thankfully the family had done all their celebrating, such as it had been, yesterday. Cook had taken a couple of days off, so Adam didn’t bother going over to the main house for breakfast. He filled his thermos with coffee from his French press, shoved a handful of protein bars into his parka pocket, and headed out to the stable to saddle up Jupiter. What he needed was a day with just him, God, and a horse out in nature. So what if it was ten below? He wasn’t a sissy.

Only the whiffle of Jupiter’s breath and the creak of the saddle kept absolute silence at bay. The trail along the tree-lined creek lay in snowy shadow but, in the distance, sunlight gleamed on glacier-clad peaks. If only he could get there, but too many obstacles lay between. Hills, valleys, cliffs, river crossings, mountain lions... the list went on and on. Insurmountable.

Sort of like his life. He could see happiness from here, but there was no path. The trail he’d blazed ended on the edge of a precipice, and his only option was to retreat and embark on a massive detour. A route that would end in a different destination. Maybe it would be an okay place. Maybe he’d be somewhat satisfied, but it wasn’t what he really wanted.

He could throw himself on Declan’s mercy, but the man had none. If his stepfather found out Adam had been lying to him for over two months, Running Creek Ranch would be forever out of reach. But it wasn’t if. It was when. Unless he and Riley just broke up now and he kept pretending it had been real.

Adam couldn’t do that. He was tired of deception.

So am I.

He looked around, but no one was near. The snow was unmarred in every direction but the one he’d come. Yet the voice had been clear.

The voice had been God’s.

Adam stared down at his gloved hands holding Jupiter’s reins. A shift in his weight. A slight movement of the reins. A soft word. Any of those were enough to signal a change to his steadfast mount. Jupiter was superbly trained. He did Adam’s bidding at the first indication.

Once Adam had heard God’s voice clearly. Months ago, before Ace’s accident. He and his friends had vowed to turn their backs on the life they’d been living and follow God. Now Ace was dead. Sawyer’s ex had gone missing with their unborn child. And Adam’s dream had drifted away like Jupiter’s breath in the frosty air.

Instead of trusting God to open his path, Adam had grabbed the first opportunity to take matters into his own hands. Look where that had gotten him.

“God, I screwed up big time.”

Jupiter twitched his ears and sighed.

Even the faithful gelding was against him, but Adam wouldn’t let that hold him back. “I’m sorry, Lord. I don’t know what to do. What I’ve done will affect my mom. My brothers. Riley... I’ve hurt her. Demanded my own way at all cost. I’ve been so selfish.”

But Running Creek was his legacy. How could a woman in labor suffer more in birth than he agonized over this death of a dream? The pain was real. Gut-twisting.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Adam had known that verse since he was a kid in Sunday school. Why hadn’t he trusted it, especially when he’d decided to follow Jesus once again?

A hope and a future.

God wasn’t out to get him. Adam had barely given God a chance to reveal His plan. And now that hope-and-prosper path was gone through Adam’s own stupidity.

“I’m so sorry.”

But was he repentant because he was