boy anymore, though he did still value the thoughts and opinions of his uncle. But, he no longer needed anyone’s approval, nor did he relish begging his father to give him a chance to show himself capable. Those years had long passed.
“He’d never give me the opportunity, and I won’t go to him with my hand out. Never again.”
“I understand. I am not suggesting you ask Wil for anything. But, I am getting on in years, and such a realization has driven me to consider what I am leaving behind. As a second son without a title or a penny to his name that didn’t come from my father or brother, I never thought to have to consider it at all. Not until I acquired Newburn.”
The dread Nick had experienced earlier was back, and he once again took stock of the changes in Paul.
“Are you insinuating what I think you are?”
Paul sighed, his stare breaking from Nick’s as he gazed unseeingly across the room. “I’ve been privileged to live a long and mostly happy life. At times I regret that I never married or sired children of my own, but I was privileged to be close to my nieces and nephews … especially you. We are kindred spirits, I think, which is why you always felt like a son to me.”
Nick’s throat constricted, and for one frightful moment he felt as if he might actually shed tears. His eyes stung and his chest ached as he realized this was more than an old man musing over his own mortality. There was clear evidence of frailty in Paul, who had always been ridiculously healthy and active.
“Uncle Paul …”
He swallowed and blinked, doing his best to remain composed. Beyond the terrace doors were his father and brothers, and his mother or sister could return at any moment. He didn’t want any of them to see him fall apart.
“Are you ill?”
Paul sighed and gave a slow nod, his own eyes becoming watery. “I am told I have only months if I am fortunate. I’ve been poked, prodded, and bled by every physician from here to Scotland and all have given the same dire prediction. I am dying, Nicky.”
Nick shot to his feet hands shaking and insides roiling as he grappled with the dreadful news. “No. No, I don’t accept that.”
His uncle grimaced. “We have no choice but to accept it. I denied it long enough for the both of us. There is nothing else to be done.”
Male voices reached out to them through the terrace doors, and Nick glared in the direction of his father and brothers. “They all know, don’t they? Everyone else knew already.”
“Don’t be angry with them for following my wishes. I asked them to keep it quiet until I could tell you myself.”
Nick took a deep breath, but could not seem to calm the acute grief swirling in his gut. He’d always thought of Paul as invincible and ageless. The man had only begun going gray in the past few years, and had seemed healthier than most men of half his years.
“Surely it can’t be true that nothing can be done. You have to try, there must be a way—”
“I’ve spent the past year trying, and I am tired. But, it’s all right. I’ve accepted what will happen and that has made it easier for me to speak of it, think of it, and plan for what will happen once I am gone.”
Nick pressed the tips of his fingers against his eyes, finding that they came away damp. He felt as if someone had just dropped a boulder on him, the crushing weight of this news too heavy to bear.
“I’m so sorry,” Paul whispered. “I could think of no way to soften the blow. But, now we must talk about your inheritance.”
His head jerked up at that, eyes growing wide with shock. “My what?”
His uncle gave him a teasing smile. “You didn’t think I’d leave everything to Julius, did you? He gets the earldom and needs no help from me. Besides, I’ve always known who my heir would be. I thought of telling you many times, but I never wanted you to be content with knowing you had it to look forward to. If you didn’t realize it was coming, you’d find your own way to survive and flourish, and you’ve done just that. Now, I know I can trust you with Newburn.”
Horror washed over him, and Nick shook his head. “I would destroy Newburn, and you know it.”