Madame President - Tara Sue Me Page 0,80
no, it’s not crazy at all, rather, it’s something entirely different. Instead, I bite my tongue so it doesn’t appear as if I’m being duplicitous.
“Maybe it’s because I’m looking closer, or that I’m a news journalist and I’m really good at reading people.”
She nods, but I can tell she doesn’t believe that either.
“When will I see you again?” she asks, in a quiet voice that rips my heart apart.
I have to tell her the truth. I hate it because I know it’s going to hurt her more than she already is, and hurting her in any way is not acceptable to me. But in this case, it’s the best choice. I had understood Mom when she said if a relationship was easy it meant someone in it was either dead or didn’t care. What I didn’t grasp at the time, was how hard not-easy was going to be.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
She doesn’t try to hide the hurt in her eyes, and for that I am thankful because it means she’s being honest. “Will you tell me where you’re going?” she asks. “Or at least what you’ll be doing? I asked Gabe, but he said I had to get the information from you.”
Gabe had called me the minute she ended the call.
“Do not ever tell me to keep information from the President again,” he all but yelled in my ear. “You know they have ways to get information out of people.”
“Anna isn’t going to torture you for information,” I told him.
“I think you’re underestimating how badly she wants that information.”
Now that I’m the one she’s trying to get it from, I see what he meant.
“It’s better this way,” I say.
I want to tell her when she looks back on this, she’ll understand, but it sounds too condescending in my head and I don’t anticipate it’ll sound any better out loud.
I am certainly not going to tell her to trust me, because it only brings echoes of our weekend together to mind.
More than anything, I want to call her Anna, but I vow not to until she asks.
She turns to leave, I can’t say I blame her, but I can’t let her go just yet.
“Wait,” I call out, hoping she’ll stop.
She’s trying to put on a brave face, I can sense it when she turns back. Maybe I’m being a jerk because I know she has to get back to the benefit and she’ll have to compose herself before she does. “Yes?”
“This isn’t forever,” I say. “I promise I’ll be back.”
“I suppose if you show up before the next election, you’ll know where to find me.” She glances away for a second. “No matter what happens or where you go, I’ll always be glad for the time we had together.”
My heart feels stuck in my throat and I want to protest that I can’t do this. That it's too hard. “I feel the same, Madame President.”
She’s at the door, but in the second before she pulls the door open, she looks over her shoulder one last time. “Please. Call me, Anna.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Her
The White House
Washington DC
I take my time walking back to the room the benefit was held in. I want to think about everything Navin said, but I’m afraid if I do, I won’t be able to make it through the next hour or so without breaking down.
The sound of ongoing chatter not too far ahead warns me how close I am to arriving back to the benefit. I won’t be expected to give an excuse for my absence, and for that I am immensely grateful.
I stop at a nearby pillar to take a few deep breaths and to attempt to put my game face back on.
“Madame President?”
I turn to find CeCe Hazar standing not far from where I’ve stopped. I haven’t been able to reach the point I need to in order to make small talk, but I’m hopeful my face isn’t broadcasting the fact my heart isn’t quite right at the moment.
”Mrs. Hazar,” I say, with my fake smile in place. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yes. Everything is fine. I was looking for my son and Sunshine told me he was in the restroom. He’s been in there for a long time. I hope he’s all right.”
I start to laugh because for some reason I find it funny Navin wouldn’t even let his sister tell their parents where he was.
“Madame President?” she asks again and looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Sorry,” I say, when I’m able to