Madame President - Tara Sue Me Page 0,18

parties appealed to me. “The Democrats don’t want me, and the Republicans are scared of me,” I used to joke, not knowing how close to correct I was. It made no sense to go back and pretend to be something I never was, so I ran for office as an Independent.

I lost that election, and looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened. It made me truly think about which mountains I was willing to die on and what I needed to let go of. It also taught me humility. Which, in my opinion, is sorely lacking today. That congressional seat was the first race I lost. It was also the last. Two years later, I ran again, and won.

I was late to join the race to be President. Even though I wasn’t thrilled with either of the candidates offered by the two main parties, I kept waiting for someone to step forward. But they never did. I had given thought to running for higher office, but I always viewed it as happening later, years later, for all the reasons people would soon throw at me. I was a woman. I was barely thirty-six. I was an Independent. The odds were impossible.

And yet, here I am.

But as successful as I’ve been in the political world, I have been a miserable failure when it comes to relationships with men. Everything else equal, the fact of the matter is a large number of men don’t know how to handle a successful woman. Multiply that times four thousand for a woman who has aspirations of being President.

Though I’ve dated casually, I’ve only had one serious relationship after law school.

His name was Hayden. What I felt for him, looking back, wasn’t love but more like an extended crush. A crush that lasted over two years. For that entire time, I’d been blind to the real Hayden. It wasn’t until the day I mentioned my idea of running for President that I saw his true colors.

At first, he thought I was joking and brushed my idea off, but as he realized I was serious, he grew angry. I couldn’t understand that. How could he possibly be upset I wanted to run for President? I asked him but he didn’t answer, choosing instead to stew in the living room with his anger all night.

The next morning I learned why he was angry. He told me over breakfast that if I wanted to pursue this pipe dream, it’d be without him. Without even having to think about it, I told him he knew where the door was. It was my townhouse we were staying in, I remember thinking at the time. I wouldn’t be the one leaving.

But I’ll never forget his parting words. As he carried the last of his boxes out of my door later that day, he looked over his shoulder and said, “You may end up winning and you may become the first female President, but you’ll wind up alone. No man wants his wife to be more powerful than he is, much less for the entire world to know it. Good luck finding a man who wants to be called the First Gentleman.”

It appears he was right. When I told reporters Captain Jackson Phillips was the only one who asked about the Inaugural Balls, it wasn’t a lie.

I console myself with the thought that it doesn’t matter now because I’m finally where I want to be. I don’t have time for a relationship, anyway. Even if I did want a man, if he can’t handle me for who I am, too bad for him. I’m not changing for anyone.

Or that’s what I say Saturday night following my first week to Jaya when she asks how I plan to date while in office.

We’re enjoying a brief moment of peace in my private sitting room and I look at her like she’s lost every bit of sense in her head. Which is possible. Why else would she ask such a stupid question?

“I don’t plan on dating while I’m here,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “Not like a date date. I’m talking about sex.”

“Then that’s what you should have asked about.”

“I was trying to be a little circumspect.”

“Why?” I ask. “You can’t be circumspect around people. Most of the time it takes a two by four to get someone’s attention, much less have them understand what you’re trying to say.”

She places her glass of wine on the table in front of the couch we’re