"Not!" Carolyn snorted. "And it wasn't just that he had a teeny-weeny either."
"Teeny-weeny?"
Santo choked out and she turned to him, nodding.
"It was like a short pencil next to Christian's cucumber," she informed him.
Christian was gaping in horror at this announcement when she added, "At least, Christian had a cucumber in my dream. I don't know if he does in real life because he's g*y and wouldn't show it to me if I asked, I mean not that I'd ask or anything," she assured him quickly and then frowned and muttered, "I don't think I was supposed to tell you he was gay. Or do you know about it too, like Zanipolo?"
"So your husband had a small pene?" Gia asked quickly to distract her, and Carolyn rolled slightly in Santo's arms again to look at her.
"That means penis, right?" Carolyn asked and when Gia chuckled and nodded, she nodded as well. "Oh, yeah.
But I suppose that wasn't the real problem. I mean, they say it's not the size but what you do with it, right?"
"Right," Gia laughed.
"Well, he didn't do much with it," Carolyn assured her with a sad little sigh. "Or with anything else, for that matter. He didn't even like to kiss. And I've discovered I like kissing. Christian is a really good kisser," she announced.
"He's hot too. It's really too bad he's g*y and everything. I could kiss him till the cows come home."
Christian heard his father ask with confusion, "There are no cows here, are there?"
"It's just an expression, dear," Marguerite murmured.
"It means a long time."
"Good," Julius decided. "They'll be together a long time."
"I bet Christian doesn't have a teeny-weeny in real life either," Carolyn said suddenly.
"I should say not. He got my genes," Julius muttered behind him.
"It didn't look like he did when he came from swimming the other day," Carolyn announced, and then quickly added, "Not that I was, you know, staring or anything.
But his swimsuit was clinging to him and-"
She grimaced and confessed, "Oh, all right, I was looking, but I don't normally look at men's packages. I only did this time because I was still kind of wound up from the dream Bethany's call interrupted. He was doing some wonderfully delicious things in that dream, and-Oh right, I'm really sorry about that, Gia, but I think I've been dream-raping your poor g*y cousin. Not on purpose or anything, of course, but-Are you okay, Santo?" She turned to peer worriedly at the man carrying her into the villa as he began to make choking sounds.
When Santo didn't respond, but continued what Christian suspected was stifled laughter, Carolyn swiveled to look at Gia. "Is he all right?"
Gia was laughing so hard she couldn't answer. But Christian wasn't laughing as he trailed them inside, and he glared at his mother when she caught his arm to stop him from following them upstairs.
"Let them go," Marguerite said. "Santo will carry her to Gia's room and she will help her dress while we talk in the kitchen."
Sighing, Christian nodded, but watched the trio disappear into Gia's room before moving again.
"Cheer up," Raffaele said, slapping him on the back.
"At least you know she likes your kisses... and other parts."
"Ha-ha," Christian muttered as he led the way into the kitchen.
"Right," Marguerite announced as he entered. "Once Gia has helped her change we'll all go down to dinner."
"All?" He scowled. "We were supposed to be alone tonight."
"Yes, but Carolyn's very drunk at the moment, dear," she pointed out.