She let her hand drop and said, "Obviously, I've been too long without and need to take care of certain biological needs to keep you safe."
"What?" he asked incredulously. "Are you suggesting you plan to sleep with him for me?"
"I value your friendship, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep it safe," she said firmly, and then flushed and admitted, "God, I squirm every time I think of the horror on your face as you ran off the bus. I felt like I had raped you or something, and then there are the dreams. I feel like I'm dream-raping you every time I have them and you don't even know about them. Well, you didn't," she added with a frown, and then rushed on, "I need to get this under control. I mean I was looking it up online last night and we aren't designed to be celibate. Sex is natural, and I think I really must be hitting that menopause thing with the added hormones and horniness. I'll be humping the waiters soon if I don't do something. I-"
"Cara," he interrupted firmly, taking her arms. "You are overreacting here. There's no need to resort to-"
"I'm not overreacting," she insisted, her voice rising.
"I never once attacked Brent like that... or anyone else.
But I'm acting crazy, jumping on you and-It's just better if I take care of things." She heaved out a breath and then added, "Besides, unless I want to spend the rest of my life alone, I need to get back into the dating game eventually.
I may as well practice with someone I'm never likely to meet again. At least that way, if I make a complete fool of myself I never have to see him again," she pointed out.
"Cara," he said quietly.
"No." She patted his arm and shook her head. "It's okay, I know you're upset with me, and you have every right to be after my behavior. And I know you'll probably be upset about Jack too since you like him. I mean, friends don't date guys other friends want. But there aren't a lot of options at honeymoon hell, and he's nice, and obviously interested in me. He's also straight. So, whether it upsets you or not, I'm going to go out with him." She patted his arm again. "I know you probably want some time to process everything so I'll leave you alone for a bit. But I'll still be your beard and everything. I'm sure Jack won't mind, he knows you're gay. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone," she added quickly. "And I hope eventually you come to forgive me for attacking you like that. I really can't explain this weird attraction I have for you, but I promise I won't do it again."
Turning before he could respond, she hurried back up to the front of the boat.
"Everything all right?" Jack asked, his voice oddly sober for a change.
Carolyn sighed. "Yes. He's just a little jealous. He likes you and your paying attention to me has his nose out of joint."
Jack blinked and then glanced at her with surprise.
"It's me he-?"
"What? You thought your charm only worked with women?" Carolyn asked with amusement.
"Hoped it only worked with women, more like," Jack muttered, turning his gaze out to sea again, and then he shook his head and grunted. "And here was I thinking that for a g*y guy he was acting pretty jealous over you."
Carolyn smiled faintly and shook her head, but couldn't help wishing that was so. Which just made her shake her head again. She obviously still wasn't thinking clearly.
"So, I believe I was inviting you to dinner before we were interrupted," he said his eyes never leaving the horizon.
Carolyn hesitated, her gaze sliding to Christian again.
He was looking grim, a scowl on his face, but still so damned handsome she felt her heart turn over. Mouth tightening, she turned back and a smile. "And I believe I was about to say yes."
His head swiveled, revealing sparkling eyes and a grin.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she said, and then blurted out, "But I'm kind of still on training wheels when it comes to dating. I-"
Her words died when he removed one hand from the wheel to slide it around her waist and draw her forward.
Carolyn was afraid he was going to kiss her and couldn't keep herself from tensing, but he only pulled her close to whisper in her ear, "It's okay. I meant it when I said I was willing to go slow. Some things are worth waiting for."
"Thanks," she breathed with relief, managing a smile when he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and released her. She then glanced around with surprise when a drink appeared in front of her: Tristan with another offering of firewater.
She started to refuse, but spotted Christian over the man's shoulder, still scowling fiercely from the back of the boat, and the guilt that suffused her immediately changed her mind. She took the drink. Carolyn suspected she'd need it if she didn't want to freeze up like some ice maiden every time Jack touched or teased her, and she was determined to see this through.
She'd go out with him and let him kiss her and-well, if she had the same reaction to his kisses as she had to Christian's, things should be all right. She just needed to relax and not panic in the meantime. Unfortunately, the very idea of doing any of that had her in a tizzy.
God I'm so pathetic, Carolyn thought with disgust, raising the glass to her lips.